A prayer for Asher

Asher is not feeling too well..

2012-01-26T18:30:00.000-08:00

Asher came over last friday and we could tell right away that he just wasn't himself. Constantly coughing, runny nose and just looking at him you knew he wasn't feeling too great.

When my husband went outside Asher was crying and i picked him up, he laid his head on my shoulder and just snuggled up with me. HUGE sign that he definitely was sick, he never snuggles with me. He's just not a snuggler. I patted his back and five minutes later he was out. We changed him into his pajamas and again he fell asleep. At 7:45pm.

I listened to him cough off and on till i went to bed. I was prepared for a long night ahead...and I was wrong. He slept till 6 am.

Saturday he was just pretty whiney. We wouldn't let him play outside, it was cold. I brought his trike in the house for him to ride and that made him happy, for about 10 minutes. His cheeks were bright red and he felt warm so I didn't think much of it, I figured he was running a little fever and of course gave him medicine for that.

On tuesday my daughter took him to the doctor and was told it's probably just a viral thing. Pretty well has to run its course. Today the school where he gets his physical and speech therapy called my daughter and said he was broke out in a rash and for her to come to take a look at him. When she got there they said that they thought he might have Fifth disease and suggested for her to take him to the doctor. She called me and asked me what i thought about the rash and I asked her if he was wearing any new clothes (Asher always seems to break out in a little rash if we don't wash his new clothes before he wears them, his skin is just really sensitive). She told me that he wore a new shirt the day before and I told her that might be causing the rash and I had never heard of Fifth disease so wasn't sure what the signs were...again i was wrong. The doctor thinks that the teacher was right and that it sure looks like its Fifth disease. The signs are there...it starts with cold like symptoms, cheeks that look like they've been slapped, followed by a rash. It is contagious in the early stages but usually not anymore once the rash appears. Sometimes arthritis like pain can also be part of the illness.

He won't be able to go to daycare or school for a few days, just in case he's still in the contagious stage. It's a childhood disease so there really isn't a chance of any of us getting it but keeping him away from other kids at this point is best.

No wonder he wasn't feeling too well...and I'll have to check on my "grandma knows best" status cause i'm sure slacking in that department lately.

Hope you feel better soon Asher, grandma hates seeing you miserable.

Can you say Nightowl?

2012-01-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

First of all before I forget..Ashers next MRI is on February 28th!

I didn't post an update this weekend because frankly i was tired...way tired. I sure don't want to blame anyone for my tiredness, so i won't. *Cough* Asher.

That little booger decided he was done sleeping Saturday morning at 1 am. You read that right. ONE AM. I went to bed about 11:30 and fell asleep around midnight. After an hour I heard him on the baby monitor making noise..not crying just noise..so i ignored him. I listened to him for 30 minutes when he started going into full blown crying mode. I got up...tried to convince him that it's still sleepy time but he had other plans in mind. Unfortunately for me. Once we were making our way to the living room he must have realized that one person was missing...my husband. So Asher decided he would just march into our bedroom and wake his buddy up and when i told him NO he figured if he can't go in that person sleeping will just have to wake up and come out...so he stood in front of the bedroom door throwing a major fit. Didn't work lol.

I finally got him back to bed around 3:30..honestly he had no choice, I was tired, I wanted my bed and I think he realized this g'ma was getting pretty grumpy so he might as well go back to sleep too..till 6 AM. SIX AM! Sigh. My hubby got up with him and i got up at 8. Still grumpy and tired but that's ok..I LOVE having him here..still. I love each and every minute he is with us as tiring as it can be sometimes. Trust me the fun times we have with him make up for it ten times over.

We were blessed with beautiful weather on Saturday. Unreal for January but we'll take it, specially since Asher LOVES to be outside.
Of course I have pictures to show you....

Attacking g'pa with leaves

Getting showered with ~~dirt~~ leaves

Riding the trike

Loving the weather

Acting all innocent

And that was our weekend...

Well..

2012-01-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

I really don't have much to report today. Asher is doing great. My daughter got his first report from school and nothing unusual there. They stated that he needs max assistance with his left hand, I think they must have gotten the side wrong because it's his right hand/arm that was effected by the tumor. He loves circle time and sometimes it's hard for the teachers to get him to do things specially if he doesn't want to. No surprise there either lol.

No news is good news i guess. We are probably looking at another MRI next month. My daughter hasn't gotten a date yet but if this scan is clear we are moving to scans every 6 months. We are very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since that will also mean we don't get the reassurance that he's ok as often but I do understand it's for the best. MRIs, CT scans all those add to cancer risk and of course we want to keep his risk as low as possible.

Asher just simply amazes me. After everything he's been thru he just keeps on smiling and adjusting to his limitations. Every time he's here he's a reminder to me how precious life is and to just enjoy the moment. Seeing him smile and laugh out loud makes me just want to scoop him up and kiss him all over, if he would let me.

We were blessed with beautiful weather again this weekend and of course we spent most of the time he was here outside, we just can't keep him inside even if we wanted to.
Here are the weekly pics:

Yep he got me wrapped around his finger, can you blame me?

Happy New Year!!

2012-01-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

Lamar advertising was doing free New Year shoutouts and this was mine : )

We finished off the year with having Asher with us. Couldn't ask for much more than that. We had beautiful weather, almost seemed like spring instead of winter. Luckily for us that also meant we were able to play outside a whole LOT while he was here. He loves being outside.

This weekend he also slept from Friday night (9pm) till Saturday morning (7am) without waking us up in the middle of the night. I hope this trend will continue. We still have not figured out why he keeps waking up here, we have closed vents, thinking maybe his room was getting too hot, to giving him warm baths before bedtime...to keeping a light on to turning lights off. You name it we've tried it.

We are very thankful for this past year, continued clear MRI scans and huge steps in developmental progress, we are also hoping and praying that this will continue in 2012. His next MRI scan will probably be in February, if it's clear Asher will move to scans every 6 months.

Silly boy

Outside and loving it

He loved this...I was running thru the leaves pulling him on his tractor.

And i finally managed to upload part of the christmas video.

Enjoy : )

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T17:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating last week. It's been pretty busy around here trying to get ready for Christmas and being short handed at work left me exhausted most days.

We've had a wonderful Christmas. Asher is getting to the age where he enjoys opening presents and it's so much fun to watch his excitement.

Both my husbands kids and my kids were here Christmas eve plus both grandkids. We always open up presents on Christmas eve so that all the kids can spend Christmas day with the other part of their families. If I remember right this was probably the first time that we were all together, usually there is always one missing. Not this year. And it was great.

Asher and his cousin were so excited about the presents I put them to work to help hand them out. They did such a great job. I have a video of them doing it and hope to post it soon, being on satellite I have no idea how long it will take to upload an HD video. I've tried it once before and it takes FOREVER. So i'm not making any promises, just trust me when I say it was pretty darn cute : )

Here are a few pictures..

Opening presents

See the excitement? oh yeah Asher liked it too lol

Asher finally went to bed around 10pm and he wasn't happy about it. He had been going non stop all evening and was just not ready to end the day yet, thankfully he fell asleep after a while. I woke up about 7 or 7:15 to some loud banging and racket in the kitchen. Appearently he found his new trike when he woke up this morning and even though his mommy tried to keep him on the carpet with it he thought it was more fun to hear it banging on our tile in the kitchen.

Loving his new trike

I hope all of you had a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Please remember all the children and their parents who are unable to spend Christmas at home but instead spend it in hospitals around the country.

Another weekend with Asher

2011-12-10T19:24:00.000-08:00

Another Friday night has come and gone and another visit with our little Asher has come to an end. I miss him already.

My husband got here with Asher on Friday evening and I was a little nervous about Ashers reaction to our christmas tree. Well not exactly his reaction but I just wasn't sure what he would do.

At first he just stood in front of the tree in awe. That didn't last long though, he started to get closer and started touching the lights..the ornaments..

He got a little more comfortable and started ripping bows from the tree till i had to put a stop to it lol. He sure doesn't like it when grandma tells him NO. Once he was done eyeing the tree he immediately saw a christmas dishtowel that was hanging from the ovendoor handle...we usually don't have a towel hanging there and he had to take it off right away. One thing that really amazes me with Asher is his memory of where things usually are. If something is out of place he has to "fix it". Considering he's been coming only once night a week it's pretty interesting to watch.

After dinner it was playtime with grandpa. This time grandmas pillows were the victims of these two. Every pillow I own was thrown on the living room floor and a game of pillow fight and let's throw ourselves and jump on the pillows ensued. This is something I would have never let my kids do, I sure have relaxed a lot since my kids were young. Asher had the best time, with all the toys he has here all you have to do is throw a few pillows on the floor and watch him have more fun than playing with dozens of toys.

After playing around it was time to watch Curious George and then it was off to bed.

And he woke back up at 2 am. GRRRR..We can not figure out why he keeps waking up in the middle of the night at our house. I thought maybe his room was too hot so we closed off one of the vents. Appearently that wasn't it. I listened to him cry for about 15 minutes before I got up, and we sat in the living room till 3:15 watching Curious George and afterwards i put him back to bed. At 5:45 he was back up. Sigh. Thankfully hubby got up with him and let me sleep in.

All morning Asher just wasn't himself, well of course not because I'm sure he was tired..so were we. Only way we could make him happy was to go in the garage or outside with him. That caused a whole different kind of problem. Asher refuses to wear a jacket. Period. I'm not just talking that he cries for a few minutes and gets over it..oh no..i'm talking..wrestling with him trying to get it on..listen to him cry and watch him tearing the jacket back off..he just refuses to do anything as long as his jacket is on. If i left it on for an hour i will be listening to him cry and not move for an hour. He hates Jackets. He didn't last year. My solution: i put his pj's under his sweatshirt and sweatpants. But still..we have to figure out a better solution, it's getting colder and colder. I'm just glad today wasn't too bad after the sun came out.

Asher enjoyed feeding the dogs....one kibble at a time

Helping grandpa

And just being outside

Can't wait till he comes back next weekend, I will try to get lots of sleep beforehand : )

Still love you forever and ever..even at 2 am XOXO G'ma

Growth hormone results and our weekend

2011-12-03T19:23:00.000-08:00

Asher had his growth hormone testing on Wednesday. We got there at 8:30 and one of the first things the nurse asked my daughter was how she wanted the testing done. IV, drawing blood or pricking his fingers. Asher is very fair skinned and some of the nurses have a really hard time finding his veins but when he did the cortisol testing and the fight we went thru to get enough blood from the finger pricks we weren't really sure what would be best. We were told if they can get an IV going the test would take about 2 1/2 hours, the other ways it would take about 4 1/2 hours. My daughters boyfriend suggested to at least try the IV and if that didn't work out we could always go thru the torture of the others. My daughter agreed.

The nurse called one of her colleagues and asked her to start the IV. She said some nurses are just better with fair complected children than others and she felt it would be in Ashers best interest to get a nurse that is really good at it. We waited for a little while and when the door opened we were surprised to find nurse Toni walk in. Way back in 2009 when Asher was getting ready to get released we had to get training on how to give Asher his emergency Cortisol shot in case he ever needed it, she was the one that trained us. We really like her. The nurse told nurse Toni that she felt better with her starting Ashers IV and Toni replied...oh i remember Asher, and he is STRONG. Yep, that's him alright.

Toni had no problem getting the IV going on the first try, they put a cuff on Asher so he wouldn't be able to bend his arm, and he was MAD. He cried and cried, my daughter finally got him to calm down by streaming netflix on her phone and him watching the movie Curious George. Figures lol. They drew blood every 30 minutes or so, at one point he got some medicine that tells the body to release growth hormones, later on he got some more medicine..not exactly sure what it was all i remember is that the nurse told us he would probably go to sleep soon afterwards. She was right.

Snuggled up with his mommy

We were finally able to leave around noon. The nurse told my daughter that the doctor should call her within the next two weeks and if she didn't for her to call the clinic.

Within 2 days my daughter got the call from the endocrinologist. Asher will need to get started on growth hormones and they are planning on starting the shots in March of next year. He will have to get a daily shot till he's at least 16 years old. Sigh. Not what we had hoped for but as I said to my daughter..he's been thru worse, he'll get used to it and i'm sure it will be a lot harder on her and us than it will be on him. I'm sure he will be ok.

We picked Asher up yesterday after work, stopped at Wal-Mart on our way home where he charmed all kinds of shoppers..he is a big flirt when he wants to be and ended up at home later than usual. One of Ashers favorite things to do around here is to play with my husband..to just have his undivided attention..just watch these two play together, Asher LOVES it and I think my husband loves it just as much:

Sorry for the quality, I just grabbed my phone to record it.

After all of that monkeying around we put Asher to bed, i went into the garage and my husband came out 10 minutes later and asked if i was listening to the baby monitor. I wasn't since my husband was in the house, he told me that he heard a thump and Asher was not asleep yet, which is very unusual. So we went in to check on him and when my husband opened the door with me following behind him, I heard Asher say: POOOOOOOOP. I'm not gonna get into details, lets just say we had to do a major clean up of Asher, his bed, crib and surrounding areas. Lets just call it Ashers unique art work. Sigh. We laughed so hard because that was the first time I ever heard him say Poop.

I was not laughing at 4 am this morning when Asher woke up. Got him up and sat him in the recliner and I was on the couch and we ended up watching Curious George for the upteenth time. There are not many people i wake up for that early on a saturday morning, but for some reason I don't mind (as much) when it's for Asher. Love you lil guy XOXOXO G'ma

So many things to be thankful for..

2011-11-26T18:49:00.000-08:00

I was on vacation this week. I was so busy with grocery shopping and getting ready to have the family here for Thanksgiving I think I forgot that I took time off to just relax.

We have so many things to be thankful for. Being able to look at Asher every week, alive and doing so well is what i'm thankful for the most, and my family and friends. I am so thankful for all of the doctors and nurses that made this happen. Thankful for technology now available and for each clear MRI result.

So many things to be thankful for..too many to list.

I will remember one thing that happened this Thanksgiving. We always get in a circle, hold hands and say Grace before we eat our Thanksgiving dinner. Asher was standing between my husband and I and was holding my husbands hand and stood completely still. It was too cute. He never stands still and forget holding his hand, it made that moment so memorable for myself.

Asher eating at the table with his cousin

He played so well with his cousins, I definitely could tell the difference from last year. He's learned how to share and really play with a group.

Asher and his cousins

Asher, our nieces kids and our granddaughter on the right

It was a long day but we enjoyed the family and the food. Asher went home that night and came back Friday to spend the night here. We played and had a great time, put him to bed at 9. At 12:45 he was crying. I got him out of bed, filled his sippy cup up and told him it was time to go back to bed. 20 minutes later he was crying again..i'm not talking whining this was full blown crying. So I got up again, got him out of his crib and we went in the living room. Asher decided that he wanted his shoes on and I told him No, he wasn't going outside at 1:15 in the morning, that was followed by a full blown fit that woke my husband up. Asher cried and cried, so I decided well I will turn on his movie and maybe he will fall asleep watching it.

Yeah i'm clueless..

It stopped him from crying.

He laughed, he pointed his little chubby finger at the TV and would just jabber and jabber..and say "JOR"

We ended up watching the whole movie, finished it at 3 AM and Asher still looked wide awake. I put him back to bed, he went back to sleep and woke back up at 5:45. Sigh. Another thing i'm thankful for...a husband that will get up early with Asher, I was exhausted and slept 3 more hours.

So what was I thankful for last night/ this morning?

This little guy

He kept me sane this morning by keeping Asher from crying. Thank you Curious George.

Asher watching Curious George last night

At lunch

and this afternoon

Anything to see this smile : )

So thankful that I am your grandma.

Almost forgot..Asher is having his growth hormone testing this Wednesday. Please keep him in your prayers!

A little boy eager to help

2011-11-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

Well i'm a little late to get this post up, don't even ask. It's been one of THOSE weeks for sure. We picked Asher up on Friday and he was in a great mood. Love it when he's happy! Didn't really do anything eventful on Friday evening, nothing to report anyways.

It was pretty cold Saturday morning so we tried to keep Asher inside as much as we could. Thankfully it warmed up during the day and he was more than happy to go outside and play. I don't even want to think about when it's really really getting cold. He just loves being outside.

My hubby decided to cut up a wood pile that's been laying around for a while and Asher was more than eager to help Grandpa Clay.
He started out by helping put the wood up

Checking out the big pieces and determined he can take that one

And he did!

Watch out, men at work!

Of course he had to supervise a little too..

Watching grandpa use the chainsaw, he wasn't sure what to think about that loud tool

But he kept a close eye on him and did his "surprise" look lol

Everytime my husband turned off the chainsaw I said: Good job grandpa!

Asher: "Grampa"

: )

He had lots of fun in the woods helping and playing. One thing he's really starting to get into is climbing. Yes I know that's normal but omg does he scare me. With him only being able to use his right hand the climbing makes me totally nervous but I know he has to learn so I let him do as much as he can with me standing near by in case he falls.

Nothing is safe at this point, our plastic tub that we keep dog food in, the window sills..

and even the lawn mower

He's doing so well. Love that lil boy to pieces.

This is how I roll!

2011-11-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

Some days I sit back and think about how fast time goes by. Here I am now, a grandmother of a beautiful grandson, seems just like yesterday when my girls were his age. Oh yeah and I am a YOUNG grandma, i better add that : )

I'm the one that jumps on the back of the shopping cart and fly down the parking lot to return my cart, or the one that runs thru the woods playing with Asher. Yep, not your typical image of a grandma, I know. I will find my apron one of these days.

Asher is getting faster and faster each day and even though I am full of energy (*insert sarcasm here), a little help keeping up with him is always welcome news.

That's when these came into play, let me introduce you to my new helpers..

That's right! Grandma got her a pair of Heelys!

When I got my Heelys, the first thing I had to do was installing the wheels, super easy. The shoes come with their own little tool to remove the covers to insert the wheels. Push down till they click into place, that's it. You can pop the wheels back out when you just want to wear them as regular tennis shoes, but that wouldn't be fun, right? I do like that I have that option though.

I chose the white pair because I can pretty well wear them with anything. They do have lots of colors and styles to choose from. I had a hard time choosing between the white ones and these:

I did expect the shoes to be a little on the heavy/bulky side but was pleasently surprised that this was not the case. They are just as comfortable as my regular sneakers.

I was a little unsure at first so I started off by watching the instructional video from Heelys. You can check it out here http://www.heelys.com/SitePages/FootwearTricktionary.aspx . You probably won't see me doing any Grinds and Stalls anytime soon, but within a few minutes I was up and rolling. I never fell or ran into anything, and it didn't take me long to feel comfortable rolling in my Heelys. I did read the Heelys Playbook with tips to stay safe http://www.heelys.com/media/PDFs/PlayBook.pdf and it's not a bad idea to read thru it.

Here is a picture of me rolling down our sidewalk...

And taking off again!

Aren't they cool looking?

So if you see me zooming by in the parking lot it won't be on the back of a shopping cart anymore, I traded that cart in for my Heelys. Ha...and Asher has no chance. Grandma will be right behind him now, because that is how I roll!

Want to own your own pair?

Heelys is throwing a Black Friday special!! Between Nov 25-Nov 28, Buy any pair of Heelys, get the second pair for $25. Or buy a Nano, and get a pair of shoes for $25, and get free ground shipping on all orders! http://shop.heelys.com/

The Nano looks so cool, maybe it'll be my next helper!

**Disclosure: Heelys sent me a pair to review**

Ashers new words and a prayer request

2011-11-13T16:52:00.000-08:00

My youngest daughter turned 21 last week. Sigh, i'm getting old. Happy Birthday Crystal! Love you! She had her birthday party yesterday and in order for my oldest daughter to be able to go I kept Asher last night instead of Friday night.

I met my daughters boyfriend at noon to get Asher and we had non stop fun the whole day. He was being so good! We raced, we played hide and seek outside...actually I don't think Asher understands the concept of this game...when I start running off and yell "Grandma is gonna hide" he takes off into the opposite direction and just cracks up. LOL. It IS a lot of fun though. Love watching that little boy laugh out loud.

He loves this pink ride on toy..only one we have he can actually scoot around on.

We'll have to fix that!

We had so much fun and did so much running around...by 8pm he looked like this:

He passed out on the living room floor : )

Since he passed out so early Saturday evening, he woke up at 5:30 this morning. He got a good night sleep, not something we can say for ourselves but that is ok. Asher started saying a few new words. Backpack or in Ashernese Bagpag..my husband got him to say stick today and this morning while my hubby was making breakfast he started saying a new word. See for yourself

Yep, his new word is Pancake. Only took me about 10 tries to finally get it on video and how cute is he?

After lots more playing outside and helping grandpa with who knows what we ended back up inside for a bath and lunch and then I decided it was his naptime. Asher didn't think so, he decided he needed to check out the sales ads in the paper, because as we all know..grandmas don't have a clue when grandkids are tired.

And after trying very hard for 10 minutes to convince me that it's not time for a nap I snapped this gem

I see a trend here!

It was another wonderful weekend with our little Asherman, unfortunately we did get some bad news Saturday evening. I have posted about Gracie a few times. A young girl that we met the day we took my daughter and Asher to Jills house in Bloomington, Indiana to start Ashers proton radiation. Gracies mom found out in January that Gracies tumor was growing again and knowing that proton radiation was their last hope they had to make some very hard decisions . When my daughter found out she immediately decided to go see Gracie one more time. She flew to Minnesota in March to visit over the weekend. Sadly, we found out yesterday that Gracie earned her wings, please keep her and her family in your prayers. Our hearts ache knowing that cancer claimed another child. RIP Gracie, i'm sure your wings look wonderful on you.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/graceburlage

Ashers birthday party

2011-11-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

My daughter planned to have Ashers birthday party yesterday and since she was busy to get everything together I ended up watching Asher Saturday instead of Friday.

As always we enjoyed having him here but this weekend was pretty special for me. At one point we ended up on the living room floor and we were building whatever out of mega blocks.

I had to go to the bathroom and told Asher I would be right back. Well...appearently I wasn't back quick enough because I heard him come thru the house going...Gramma..Gramma!

OH MY!

He finally said it!

When I came out of the bathroom he was in front of the bathroom door holding his blocks. So for the record..the first time Asher said Grandma was on November 6th, heard by my husband and myself..me being in the bathroom. Awesome lol.

After Ashers nap we took him back home to get ready for the party. I just loved watching him play with the other kids and having a good time.

His birthday cake was incredible. My daughters boyfriend has a lady in his life that he refers to as his 2nd mom. I've never met her but have heard lots about her.

She made the cake. It didn't just look cute as it can be it was simply delicious. She did a fantastic job!

See for yourself!

Asher blew out his candle, with a little help from grandma..but he actually tried to blow : ) Opened up lots of presents and was all smiles thruout the party. It was a great party organized by my daughter and her boyfriend.

Here are some more pictures. Enjoy:

It's been an amazing three years and we are looking forward to many many more birthdays! You are one special grandson Asher, grandma loves you so very much..XOXOXO

Three years old!

2011-11-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today a little boy came into our lives and forever changed it.

I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on him.

In three years he has taught us about life, love, faith and much more. He has endured so much in that short time, and still does, but here he is with a smile on his face.
A fighter.

Our hero.

Happy Third Birthday Asher!!!

You are the best grandson any grandma could wish for.

I am so honored to be your grandma.

Love you always and forever XOXO

Brain Tumor Clinic Appointment

2011-10-31T16:29:00.000-07:00

Asher had an appointment at the Brain tumor clinic today. These appointments always last a couple of hours or so since most/all his doctors that are part of his treatment come in to see him.

Today it lasted twice as long.

First doc to come in was Dr Gross. She's the neurosurgeon that perfomed his surgery. She pretty well just observes him while he's running around the room. She thinks he looks great and really liked how well he was getting around and his constant blabbering.

Next doc was the psychologist. We discussed some behaviors. Asher off and on loves to scratch/pinch when he gets mad. And he can scratch. Hard. We think part of it is from frustration of not being able to communicate when he's upset. She basically said to continue doing what we are doing, which is time outs and hopefully he will get the message.

Dr McNall, a neurologist and a PA came in next. We love Dr McNall. Mostly we talked about the past 2 years, she told us she remembered his surgery well, she actually watched part of it. She mentioned to the PA that Asher was one of three kids, all three born a week apart and diagnosed within the same week. Brock, Asher and Cash. She told us that his MRI looked fine, we already knew that and then informed us that his next MRI will be in 4 months. If that scan is clear Asher is moving up to having an MRI every 6 months. YAY!! Great news : )

Last doc to come in was his endocrinologist. Again, we were shown charts of his weight and height. His weight gain is normal, again good news since he kind of jumped in weight for a little while in the past. His growth is starting to slow down. He is still in normal range but in the very low normal range of the chart. She explained to us that growth hormones are very sensitive and easily damaged during radiation. Most children that received brain radiation will have to take growth hormones sooner or later. She said it's like a puzzle that you put together. The chart is one piece. Genetics is another and testing for growth hormones is the last piece. That's how they come up with the decision if a child needs growth hormones. Looking at his parents with my daughter being 5'6 and the person i don't mention on this blog being 6'1, Ashers potential growth should be around the same height. She's not sure he'll reach that on his own.

What does that mean for Asher?

She wants to set up another stimulation test like he had done for his cortisone levels but this time for growth hormones to see how much his body produces. If his body doesn't produce enough he will have to start taking growth hormones. I asked her if there was a certain age a child needs to be to take growth hormones and how it was administered. She said they can start at any age and the growth hormones would mean a shot. A shot. Every. day. Till he reaches age 15 or so. 12 years of daily shots. Sigh. She did say it wasn't a huge needle like a vaccination or anything. Of course as soon as i got home i checked on youtube and found a couple of videos, it looks more like a pen with a short needle. Makes me feel a little better.

She said there wasn't a need to immediately start the shots, but the younger the patient the longer they have to get that child to their potential height. She also ordered for an x-ray to be taken of his wrist/hand to see how much room he had to grow. Guess now we just have to wait for them to set up the test and then wait for the results. Hate for him having to go thru this but we knew there was a high risk of him having to do this.

Next up were a couple of nurses to draw some blood, what for i'm not sure. I had to run down to the parking garage to get the carseat out of my truck and put in my daughters car.

I ended up having to leave at 430 before they took the x-ray to pick my husband up from work. 3 1/2 hours after getting there and they were still not done with him. Poor guy : (. I will update as soon as we know when they will do the testing for the growth hormones.

When you are not the favorite..

2011-10-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

As you all know, since Asher started daycare he's not with us everyday like he used to be. When my daughter first told me that she was moving to another town further away from us we knew my time babysitting Asher was coming to an end.

I was sad, but knowing he would still come and at least spend one night a week with us made it a little easier. We try to make up for the missed time by really really treasuring the day and night he is with us. To tell you the truth pretty well everything revolves around Asher.

Asher follows my hubby around wherever he goes when he's here, if he wears houseshoes ...Asher has to wear houseshoes. He loves playing with his grandpa Clay and helping him, as you can see:

After dinner tickle/wrestling session

It's like having two kids in the house!

off to help grandpa in the woods

Big helper

As for me...I'm just here to change dirty diapers.

*Sigh*

Trick or Treat

2011-10-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

My company hosts a trick or treat event every year for the children of the employees. Employees are able to leave work early to pick up their children and bring them back for this event. Unfortunately, I was never able to attend since my boss made it very clear to us in our department that we just don't have time for stuff like that. My boss is a die hard bachelor, no girlfriend, no kids. That explains why he doesn't think company events targeted for the employee families are important.

Till now. Just recently our department merged with another one and with that the manager of the other department became my bosses boss. This new managers opinion is that we are employees of the company just like everyone else and should be able to attend company functions. I completely agree!

So this year I was able to pick Asher and his mommy up to bring them to this Spooktacular trick or treat event. It was so much fun watching Asher. Can you guess what he dressed up as?

A doctor. Dr Little. I love it!

He refused to get out of his stroller but had no problem picking a piece of candy out of the buckets and dropping it into his bag. We didn't go to every stop on every floor but I loved watching him be part of it all.
Here are a few pictures from today (I was all proud of myself for remembering to take my camera with me today....then left it in the car, figures. Thank god for smart phones lol) :

Not too happy to dress up...at first

Drinking some apple juice

Cutest little doctor i've ever seen

Busy man!

Asher you are the best treat ever!! Love you XOXO g'ma

MRI Results

2011-10-24T13:42:00.001-07:00

My daughter just texted me...Ashers MRI results:

ALL CLEAR!!

Poor lil Asherman..

2011-10-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

Always has to work when he comes to grandmas house...

Taking care of the yard

Waving bye to grandma. While working hard..

Asher are you getting tired?

NOOO!

Are you sure you are not getting tired??

NOO! Time for nap ? NOO

Not tired at all..what do grandmas know anyways...: )

Blood Test Results..

2011-10-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

My daughter called me this afternoon at work and told me that the endocrinologist called her to tell her the results of the blood tests from Monday.

His cortizone level is fine. GREAT NEWS! This means that Asher will not have to take cortisol pills anymore. One more medicine to scratch off his list. I'm guessing they will still test for it every now and then just to make sure the levels remain ok but at this point it looks like his body is producing it itself. I'm really happy about this news. I posted about his last brain tumor clinic appointment 3-4 months ago and said then that I had asked her how long he will have to be on Cortisol and she said then that there was a good chance he'll be on it for life. Guess he showed her, didn't he? hahaha..in a good way : )

At this point Asher is down to taking only one pill a day. His thyroid medicine. The doctor told my daughter that the levels were fine for this also BUT that the thyroid is a vital part of brain development and she just does not want to risk taking him off this medicine yet, especially since his tumor was in the brain. She wants him to keep taking Levythyroxin (sp?) for now. That is ok. I'm glad she's playing it safe.

She also said that there is a huge chance that Asher will have to take growth hormones sooner or later. We knew that since his oncologist suggested for him to do proton radiation. We knew that there was a very big chance that his pituitary gland will be wiped out during radiation, it was a small trade off considering no radiation would have meant there would be a bigger chance for the tumor to grow back.

This little boy amazes me each and every day. I'm so happy for him.

Ashers new word that he has learned: "laptop". Sigh. Still no grandma. I think he just enjoys seeing me run after him and going: Asher say grandma!

We are still waiting on the results from the MRI..will update as soon as we know something!

Busy Weekend..

2011-10-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

Asher had his MRI on Friday and all went well. We are very thankful that he never has problems with the anesthesia or the overall process. The MRI was scheduled for 1:15 pm. A LOT later than we like. At the age of almost 3, Asher just doesn't understand why he can't eat or drink anything. I do have to say that he was in a lot better mood than I imagined he would be. He's a tough lil guy, for sure.
Asher after his MRI, still woozy:

His new obsession...His Indiana University cap that he received

when he was done with his proton radiation in Indiana.

This weekend he spent the night with us on Saturday instead of Friday. My youngest daughter (Ashers aunt) was here also and on Sunday morning we decided to take him to the park. He LOVES the slide. He would climb up the stairs..go down the slide...go back up the stairs..the whole time we were there!

Growing up way too fast for me : (

I met my daughter and Asher at Childrens Hospital today. He had an appointment at the endocrinologists clinic to test if his body produces cortizone. He was weaned of his cortisol medicine a month or two ago. We got there at 11 and after the nurse checked his veins she decided to take his blood by pricking his finger.

At first she pricked his middle finger, took 3 small vials of blood from that, my daughter had to hold him down on her lap while I had to hold his arm still. He did not like that one bit!

Then they gave him a shot of some stuff in his leg.

We had to wait 30 minutes, then the nurse returned and pricked another finger.

Wait another 30 minutes and another finger prick.

Asher did great, especially while we had to wait in the room for the next drawing of the blood. He was all smiles in between.

Now we just wait for the results of the blood tests and the MRI result. Please pray that his MRI was clear and that the blood test will show his body producing the much needed cortizone!

His brain tumor clinic appointment is on October 31st.

Doctor appointments..

2011-10-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

There has been some changes made for Ashers doctor appointments.

His MRI will be on October 14th.

Hormone testing will be on October 17th.

Brain tumor clinic on October 31st.

Neuropsychology testing November 3rd. on his birthday. Figures!

I've had problems with my internet this weekend and it's been one of those weeks with everything breaking down from our A/C to our car that we've only owned for 34 days...it's been frustrating. Today has been really bad but then I logged on to facebook and saw that my daughter posted some pictures of Asher and well...that just put a smile on my face

AND THAT...makes my problems just disappear for a little while : )

It's that time again!

2011-10-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure about you, but around this time I start thinking about Christmas cards. Can you believe that this year is almost over? I sure can't.

Last year I was introduced to the company Tinyprints.com. I loved their cards and blogged about them a few times. They have so many cute cards it's hard for me to pick which one I want. This year, as I am trying to decide what kind of card I would like to send out, I went back to their site to see all the new designs. And again I was not disappointed, sigh. So MANY cute ones!

Check this one out:

Ornament Card

You know what I really like about this one? First of all...of course it's a christmas card, but you can hang it on the tree and keep it for years to come! I can really see my christmas tree in a few years adorned with these ornaments and being able to look back at all the pictures taken in the years prior. I also think this would be a really neat way to display christmas cards from friends and family.

I know its only October but it's definitely not too soon to start thinking about christmas cards. I highly suggest to check out the christmas card collection at Tinyprints.com they always have what i'm looking for!

**Disclosure: I received Christmas cards in exchange for this post, but i've been a fan of tinyprints for a while now, i've used them last year for our christmas cards and i'm planning on doing so again this year!**

Zatswho!

2011-10-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I received an email from a very nice lady that had come across Ashers blog. A grandma herself she had been inspired by her granddaughter to create a product called Zatswho, a hands on sensory learning toy. She asked if she could send Asher a set, hoping it will give him some comfort when he goes to all of his doctors appointments and hospital visits. She didn't ask for anything in return. She just wanted him to have a set, because she had actually read his blog.

I emailed her my address and within a couple of days I had the package in my hands. Superfast shipping!

Zatswho is a set of flexible soft photo flashcards that come packaged in a cute little carry bag. This learning tool is supposed to help face recognition and some other things, such as learning colors and shapes.

Asher instantly fell in love with the little carrying bag and we started using the flashcards to help him learn colors and improve his speech at the same time. As you can see in this video that I posted back in August (and yes i know it's not high quality) he loves to play with his own little set.

One one side you can slide in pictures of family members, pets, or whatever you would like. The photos are protected by a clear shield so Ashers almost never clean hands don't damage the photo, we can just wipe them clean. On the other side are different shapes to help him learn them and he loves the bright colors.

It's a great learning tool and if you would like to read more about it go to http://www.zatswho.com/. I highly recommend giving it a try. Asher loves this product and so do we! Thank you Trish for thinking of Asher!

**Disclosure: I received the product and was NOT asked to do a blog post in return. All opinions stated are my own. Asher loves the product!**

October 5th-On this day two years ago, our world stopped spinning

2011-10-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

Monday, October 5th 2009...a day I will never ever forget.

I went to work that morning and my daughter had an appointment with Ashers pediatrician. If I remember right the appointment was at 9 or 10 am.

My daughter called me after the doctors appointment and said that she had told the doctor about the two ER visits in the two days prior and the symptoms we'd seen. The doctor stated: They should have never released him from the hospital, make sure he drinks plenty of fluids etc...and sent them home.

I was frustrated, furious and wasn't sure what else to do.

Around noon I received another call at work, this time from my youngest daughter that was staying with Asher and his mommy. She was upset and told me that Asher seemed "out of it" that they still couldn't get him to drink anything. I told her to take him back to the ER at Mercy hospital since they already had a record of him from the day before.

A few minutes later I got another call from my youngest daughter...she had called Mercy and explained to them what was going on and they advised her to take Asher to OU Childrens hospital since he was still so young and they were specialized with kids. I told them to go ASAP and I would meet them at the ER. Thankfully the hospital is only 5 minutes from my work, I called my husband who works for the same company as I do and told him I had to get to the hospital NOW. I was in a panick.

I can't remember if I got there first, if his grandpa got there first..or what. It's all a blurr to me, all I can remember is seeing Asher in an ER room laying in my daughters arm completely unresponsive. Nurses and doctors coming and going, pinching him...no response. So many questions from the nurses and doctors..did he fall? did he hit his head? anything unusual? We went over the past two weeks again..told them about the doctor visits, the ER visits...that they were now the third hospital to see him in three days. Nothing unusual happened that we knew of, no fall, no head injury, nothing. They ran so many tests, I remember thinking...FINALLY someone understands that something is wrong. FINALLY we will get an answer what's wrong with him, get the right medicine and he'll be fine. Test after test came back normal and they still weren't sure what was wrong, he started tilting his head backwards, doctors immediately did a spinal tap to check for meningitis...that wasn't it. I slowly lost my faith that they would find what was wrong with him, while watching Asher got worse and worse.

After HOURS in the ER they finally said they would admit him, they knew something was terribly wrong, but just couldn't figure out what it was. Asher was admitted and taken to a room. While we were in the room the doctor came in again and asked the same questions again..did he fall? did he hit his head? anything? Our response was..no nothing. Then the person (whom i don't mention on this blog) piped up and said..well one day he was reaching for a toy and fell over and hit his head on the ground. The doctor asked when this had happened? The person said...about 3 weeks ago. The doctor immediately ordered a CT scan.

I told my husband that I had to go outside...once we left the room I remember telling him: I don't understand why he did not say anything for 3 weeks? Hit his head? Asher crawls, reaching for a toy and hitting his head on carpet couldn't have this outcome. This makes no sense! I'm going to jail tonight if I find out anyone shook or hurt him.

After a few minutes outside my cell phone rang. My exes wife was calling me and as soon as I answered my phone she said: You need to come up here NOW..he has a brain tumor.

Our world stopped spinning at that moment. As long as I live I will never forget that fear of loosing my grandson rip thru me that very moment. Nothing else mattered. I would have hit the ground if it wouldn't have been for my husband grabbing me. We raced upstairs, my daughter was falling apart, Asher was taken to the PICU unit immediately, we were told that the tumor was blocking the fluid to drain from his head and they needed to drill a hole in his head to relieve the pressure. We were in the midst of our worst nightmare.

I tried to reassure my daughter that he will be ok. We can make it thru this. On the inside I was falling apart, doubting my own words. We had lost a family member 2-3 years prior during a brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumor. The memories were fresh. We all knew what was at stake here. Ashers life.

This picture was taken on October 6th, 2009. To this day it breaks my heart looking at this picture, but I don't have to even look at it, this image is etched into my memory like it was just yesterday.

October 5th - Today marks the 2 year anniversary of Ashers brain tumor diagnosis.

Two years ago I never thought I would be writing a blog post about Asher, 2 years later. Two years ago I prayed that Asher would survive. I didn't care what damage was done by the tumor, all I was focused on was us getting him out of the hospital alive.Whatever it would take, we would deal with the after effects later.

Two years later, today, October 5th 2011, this little boy doesn't just live, he teaches us how to live again. Each and every day. He reminds us what life is all about, loving each other and being greatful for each day we have with loved ones.

You, Asher, are and always be my Hero.

And you totally have me wraped around your little fingers....

Love you forever and ever, G'ma XOXOXO

October 4th- On this day two years ago..

2011-10-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday October 4th, 2009..My daughter was at work and I was babysitting Asher. He was cranky again, whining constantly always wanted to be held. He also refused to take his bottle. I started getting really worried about him. He was just not acting like himself. He had no interest in playing, he was just not the little Asherman we were used to.

He wanted someone near him at all times

That afternoon I was changing his diaper and noticed it was dry. I called my daughter at work and told her that I felt like he needed to be seen again and that I would take him to the Emergency Room. Since I wasn't too impressed with the ER at the hospital we had taken him to the night before I told her i would take him to Childrens hospital in Oklahoma City.

My youngest daughter and I packed Ashers diaper bag and headed to OU Childrens hospital. We walked into the Emergency Room that was completely packed. The H1N1 flu was in full swing and after going to the counter and filling out the paper work, handing over my note from my daughter that allows me to receive medical treatment for Asher we were told to wait till we were called.

I don't remember how long we sat there, probably about 45 minutes, listening to people cough and sneeze left and right of us and not seeing much progress being made with the amount of people there, I made the decision to take him to another hospital hoping to get in quicker.

We drove across town to Mercy Hospital. Once we got there and went thru the whole paper work again we were seen by the triage nurse. I told her about the ER visit the night before, the pediatricians visits and around that time Asher started throwing up everywhere. The triage nurse freaked out and said he needed to be taken to the back NOW!

My daughter had left work and came to the hospital to be with her son. After the evaluation by the ER doctor there we were told that he was dehydrated and was put on an IV. After a few hours of being on the IV my daughter was told to follow up with his pediatrician and to let her know about his ER visit that night.

Asher on October 4th, 2009 (Mercy Hospital ER)

October 3rd- On this day two years ago...

2011-10-03T16:40:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what you did two years ago? I do.

On October 3rd, 2009 I received a call from my daughter in the early evening, telling me that Asher was not acting right. He had thrown up his bottle and was whiney and cranky. I suggested for her to take him to the Emergency Room to get him checked out.

Asher had seen his pediatrician in the two weeks prior and my daughter was told he had a stomach bug. He had lost 3 lbs. It boggled my mind that his pediatrician didn't seem alarmed by the weight loss, considering he weighed 20lbs before and was now down to 17lbs.

On this Saturday evening (Oct 3rd, 2009) I told my daughter I would come to the ER because I felt like she was getting blown off. A first time mother not being taken serious when she voiced her concerns.

We sat in the ER till his name was called. We told the doctor about Ashers health the last two weeks and that we were worried because he didn't seem to get any better, he hasn't had a dirty diaper and acted like he was in pain.

The ER doctor evaluated him and ordered an X-ray of the stomach area. Once the results came back we were told that there was no obstruction and it was probably gas. He suggested to get some gas drops, motrin for pain and when he heard that Asher had another appointment with his pediatrician on monday he said to follow up with her then.

This is what Asher looked like on this day two years ago...(photo taken sept 2009)

"For a cure"

2011-10-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

September is gone, Childhood cancer awareness month is over and now its October and Breast Cancer Awareness month is in full swing. I see pink ribbons EVERYWHERE. I barely saw one gold ribbon in September. And I am mad.

When I became a mother I tried to protect my children as much as I could. From bullies, bad decisions and especially their health. We immunize our kids from diseases that could harm them. We can not immunize them to prevent childhood cancer. Not yet anyways. Maybe one day we can.

There has been a lot of research done on cancer, all types of cancer and other diseases. What have we learned from that research? AIDS..preventable with protection. Lung Cancer...greatly reduce your risk of getting it by not smoking. Breast Cancer...early detection ups your chances for a cure. Child hood cancer..well it stops there. We have nothing. Nobody can tell you why your child has cancer, but the research gets the least amount of research dollars. If someone can tell my why and make me understand this, please do so.

I opened up my newspaper today and see a pink ribbon, we watch a NFL football game and hear of pink NFL items sold to help find a cure, I see pink Swiffers, pink ribbons on yogurt containers. It's everywhere. PINK PINK PINK. Everyone jumps on that band wagon because it's the most popular, hoping people will buy their brand because it sports that pink ribbon and supports the Susan G Komen foundation and of course it helps the brand make money too. It's all about profit.

Living thru the nightmare the last two years watching Asher fighting for his life we had foundations help us. Small foundations, all that were created by parents that had lost a child to cancer. Financially it would have ruined my daughter and us, or made it almost impossible for Asher to get his treatment if it would have not been for the help of strangers and these foundations. Then I come across an article like this..http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/07/komen-foundation-charities-cure_n_793176.html. Really Susan G Komen foundation? Shame on you, you big bully! Aren't we all in this together to fight cancer? What makes your foundation so special? Is it the millions and millions of dollars you receive each and every year? Is your cause more important than others? I think not.

I am not saying that Breast Cancer shouldn't receive dollars for research or that people shouldn't donate, but I for one will not donate to a foundation that spends millions of dollars from donations to fight other smaller foundations over three words "for a cure". I prefer to help out the little foundations that actually care, the ones that struggle each and every year to help families effected by this disease, the ones that actually help.

I hope one day people will see gold ribbons everywhere and everyone know what it stands for. When we can't cure our children there is no need to worry about them getting other types of cancer because they might not even grow up for us to worry about that.

Spongebob..who?

2011-09-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

We had another nice weekend with Asher. The weather is currently really nice, not too hot, not too cold. Perfect weather to be outside and I am so glad that Asher loves being outside as much as we do. We have so much fun.

As you know we are working hard with Asher to improve his speech. I'm starting to think that he could actually say a lot more than he does, just doesn't want to. My personal goal has been for him to say Grandma or Oma..heck at this point i'm not picky. Just whatever he wants to call me is fine. When I try to get him to say it it's either followed by silence or a very clear NO. He got the word "NO" down pat, it's a long drawn out NOOooo. Really cute.

So friday night Asher was sitting next to my husband in the recliner watching TV.

First of all ..notice his shoes? yeah..those are swim shoes that he refused to wear all summer long, but g'pa Clay got himself some new house shoes and Asher decided he needed to wear some too. So his swim shoes are his new house shoes and he refuses to take them off. Anyways, they were watching cartoons and spongebob came on, so my hubby said..look Asher it's spongebob. Ashers reply : "Sponbob". Really??? He will say a cartoon characters name before he says grandma? After i picked my jaw off the floor I asked him to say grandma..Asher: "NOoooo" *sigh* I can't win.

Saturday we did what we do best..playing and having fun with Asher. He gets our undivided attention while he's here. This time we didn't get woke up at 4 am oh no, we were done with that non sense. This weekend Asher decided to wake up at 1:45 am. I heard him cough and then start whining, then the cough got worse and I knew it was time to get up and give him some medicine. He was only up about 30 minutes and we got him back to bed. He finally got up at 6:30. A lot better than 4 am! Maybe next weekend we can actually sleep all night..we hope : )

Even though he refuses to say grandma he does love it when I play with him just like i'm another kid. We raced Saturday morning in our garage..yes he's still in his pajamas and his "house shoes" we don't follow schedules here when he's around lol

yep that's me on Ashers power wheel, but see the pure delight in his face? Who cares if i look like a fool..his smiles are worth it : )

By the way he won each and every race..imagine that!

Back in the woods with g'pa to hang up the deer cam. He LOVES to help.

Walking with g'pa

I wonder what he's thinking..

Asher walking the puppy...or vice versa

When I was transferring the pictures from my camera to my laptop I came across this picture and instantly I thought..I bet he's praying that grandma forgets about naptime today : )

When Asher woke up from his nap my husband went to get him out of the crib. I was in the laundry room and my husband kept saying.."Oma where are you? Asher say: Oma where are you?" Asher: "Oma".

FINALLY!

He only said it once and hasn't since but I heard it, my husband heard it and we are both sure that's what he said, who cares if he said Spongebob first..he said OMA! *big grin*

3 Weeks till his next MRI. Sigh. Scanxiety is starting to creep it's way back into our lifes. Praying and hoping for another clear scan. Please keep him in your prayers.

Next MRI..

2011-09-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

My daughter informed me today that Ashers next MRI is on Friday October 14th. Really good day to have his MRI since that is my day off but on the other hand he is scheduled for 1:15PM. Poor guy. It'll be a long morning for him. He won't be allowed to eat or drink anything after 7 am. I suggested to wake him up at 6, let him eat and drink till 7 then cut him off, hopefully it'll make it easier on him. We will see.

The MRI will be followed up with an appointment with all of his doctors on October 18th. My birthday. Figures. It is also the day the endocrinologist scheduled him to get tested to see if his body produces cortizone. We'll probably be at the hospital most of the day. That's ok. I couldn't ask for a better birthday present then to get an "MRI IS ALL CLEAR" from the doctor, I am praying that my wish will be fulfilled.
Please keep Asher and my daughter in your prayers, a clean MRI for Asher and not too much scanxiety for my daughter.

I forgot to mention something in my previous post. My daughter thinks it's just hillarious so I will go ahead and share the conversation I overheard last weekend between my husband and Asher..
Hubby (Clay): "Asher say Clay"
Asher: "Clay" (keep in mind he doesn't say it clearly but we know he's saying it)
Hubby: "Asher say Jeff" (daughters b/f)
Asher: "Jeff"
Hubby: "Asher say Grandma"
Asher: "NOOOOOO"

*Sigh*

Spending time at grandmas house is a lot of work

2011-09-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

First Asher has to make the LONG trip to our house..ok maybe it's not that long but sure takes forever for him to get here when i'm waiting for my hubby to get home with Asher: )

Once he gets to grandmas house he has to endure lots of hugs and kisses. The weather was cool so we went straight inside. Asher carried his bag to the living room, then proceeded to walk around the house closing all the doors. Once that's done he goes into his room and starts pulling his chair and table into the kitchen. We put his big boy underwear on and after playing for an hour I put him on the potty chair. He peed in it! We took the bowl and went to the bathroom, dumped it in the toilet and waved bye to his pee while he flushed the toilet. Then he clapped and said YAY!

*sigh* LOVE that boy.

He ate dinner, played and played till it was bedtime. We put him to bed around 9pm and when I kissed him good night and told him that g'ma loved him he smiled and waved bye to me.

Then he woke up at 4am. FOUR A.M.

I am not sure what the deal is with him waking up early like that when he's here, he's been doing it for a month or two now and we have no idea why. I'm not talking just waking up crying, i'm talking wide awake ready to play awake. He was up till 6 and we finally got him to go back to bed..till 7:15. Thankfully my husband got up with him and let me sleep a little while longer.

This is what a day at g'mas house looks like for Asher...

A walk in the woods with g'pa Clay

Inspecting everything

Running after the puppy

Checking to make sure g'pa has a belly button

Rock climbing

Patrolling the yard

Cuddling with ~~grandma~~ grandpa

Blowing bubbles with g'ma (who is still half asleep thanks to the 4AM wake up)

and on top of all that he has to look cute and eat our food.

the looking cute part comes easy for him though : )

Love you Asher

XOXO G'ma

Gold Ribbon Ride

2011-09-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we attended the Gold Ribbon Ride in memory of Ashers little friend Cash Caywood. It was the first time in 2 years I was able to meet Cashs parents and not start crying. A harsh reminder what 7 families face everyday, the passing of their child of cancer. 7 children too many. Every. Day.

Around 150 registrations for the ride. Talk about AWESOME. I was thrilled to see that many people take time out of their lives to remember Cash. A boy that passed away at the age of 15 months. He taught us a lot in that short period of time and we will forever remember Cashs smiles and lessons.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday..

Asher and his mommy..waiting for all the bikes/cars to arrive

A pic of just some of the bikes!

Live Band

The band played a few songs and i saw Cashs mommy Stacie Caywood walk past us and talk to them. All of a sudden one of the members of the group said: We want to introduce a special little boy here today. Asher. Asher is a cancer survivor. Great going little boy!

*Silence*

Then the crowd cheered. I was glad I was wearing sunglasses, nobody was able to see my eyes tearing up.

I never really think of Asher as a "Cancer survivor". His doctor told us a long time ago that brain tumor patients don't go into remission like other cancer patients do. They either have a tumor or they are considered tumor free. We never really get the feeling of the fight being OVER. If that makes any sense at all. When we get a clean MRI result we let out a sigh of relief...till the next MRI. Our new proton radiation center here in Oklahoma has commercials on TV. In the commercial one of the doctors says..From the day you are diagnosed with cancer you become a cancer survivor. He's right. You are a survivor each and every day after your diagnosis. Asher IS a survivor and has been for 707 days now.

•61,084,800 seconds

•1,018,080 minutes

•16,968 hours

•101 weeks

Take that Cancer!

Asher and my hubby

Asher watching the band

Everyone hanging out

Back of the tshirts (all proceeds went to Jayla Alexis Tuck Cancer Foundation)

http://www.bugginoutforkids.org/

It was a perfect day to remember a special little boy. We will be there again next year!

Asher and the potty-Lesson learned

2011-09-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

We try very hard to treat Asher like a normal kid. We know he has some limitations because of his inability to use his right hand and some other things but he's a little boy just wanting to do what other kids his age do.

The issue of potty training came up a few times and my opinion was always that a child is ready when they can tell you they need to go to the bathroom. Asher only says a couple of words so potty training was something I hadn't thought of yet.

Last weekend Asher was walking around our house closing doors to all the rooms when i saw him walk in the bathroom. Our guest bath has a door seperating the vanity from the toilet/bath so i figured he went to close that door. When he didn't come back out right away i went to check what he was doing and saw him standing in front of the toilet trying to take his diaper off. I thought..hm..ok well lets give this a try. I took his diaper off and put him on the toilet. He sat there staring at his private parts. Nothing. Then he wanted down. I took him off the toilet, he grabbed some toilet paper and wiped himself front and back (even though there was nothing to wipe) and threw the toilet paper in the toilet.

It was that day that Asher has taught me another lesson. He might not be able tell us that he has to pee by saying the words but he can tell us by just going to the bathroom. Without knowing it we were kind of holding him back thinking he can't do something when he actually can.

So Friday I went and got him some big boy underwear and a potty chair. I was gonna try this out, I decided not to push it, have no expectations and just get him used to the idea, and just see what he will do.
I knew he would dig the underwear since he loves to run around our house without a diaper but would he know what to do with the potty?

(Asher in his big boy underwear after his bath)

I took the potty out of the box and left it on the kitchen floor trying to figure out where exactly to put it. Asher didn't pay much attention to it. When it was time to give him a bath I took his diaper off and he started to take off running around the house, he ended up in the kitchen and sat on the potty. He got up. nothing. He kept sitting down on it, getting up, several times. I am sure he was trying to avoid getting in the tub. Next thing i know he peed in the potty!

We cheered like he had just won the superbowl and Asher was grinning from ear to ear...till i took the bowl from the potty to dump it in the toilet. He threw a fit! How dare I take his pee!
Thank you Asher for reminding me that you can do things just like other kids. Love you bunches XOXO

PS: We attended the Gold Ribbon Ride in Cash Caywoods memory yesterday. I will post pics in a seperate post.

Video of Cash-Ashers little friend

2011-09-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

I've posted many times about Cash and his mommy Stacie. After finding out that Asher had a brain tumor we were discussing with his doctor what he could be facing in the future. Surgery, possible rounds of chemo, she told us they would know more once they would get a pathology report, telling her what type of tumor we were dealing with. She mentioned that if he would have to do chemo it would be done on the 10th floor of the hospital also known as the "cancer floor".

After spending days in the waiting room of the PICU, watching the chaos come and go with each patient we were simply terrified of the 10th floor. Ashers doctor said that she wanted us to meet a mom whos son was diagnosed with cancer and was currently upstairs getting his chemo. I am not sure if she knew we needed to meet someone that was going thru the same thing we were facing or what was going thru her mind. She called the room where the mom and her son were staying at and asked if it would be ok if she brought us up to meet them. The answer was yes.

I will never forget walking in that room, a little boy sitting up in his hospital crib that looked almost like a cage, smiling from ear to ear. The mom sitting in a chair beside him. The doctor introduced my daughter and told the mom that Asher had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. We were then introduced to Stacie and Cash. Cash was born just a few days before Asher.

Stacie got up and looked at my daughter, asked how she was holding up and immediately said..wait you need a hug. She hugged my daughter. She told us Cashs story and what he's been thru and what the future treatments would be. She gave my daughter advice what to pack, what to do in certain situations. It's hard to explain what this meeting meant to us. I can say for certain that Stacie gave us hope. Her strength was inspiring, we were looking at a mom that was fighting for her sons life.

Everytime we were at the hospital and knew that Cash and his mommy were there we would go visit for a few minutes. Sadly Cash passed away in February of 2010. He's our biggest little hero. His parents posted this video on Facebook today. Watch it and you will see why Cash and his family was such an inspiration to us and continue to be..

This Saturday will be the 2nd Annual Gold Ribbon Ride in honor of Cash. You can get all the info about the ride on the Gold Ribbon Ride facebook page If you live in Oklahoma please join us in honoring Cashs memory. Let's show his family that we remember him and everything he has taught us.

Facts you should know about pediatric Cancer

2011-09-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

•Nearly 30% of the US population is less than 20 yrs.

•The risk of any single individual developing cancer by age 20 is approximately one in 330.

•In the United States, approximately 10,500 children under age 15 and 3,700 adolescents ages 15-19 are newly diagnosed with cancer each year. That is roughly the equivalent of two average size classrooms (35-46 kids) diagnosed each school day.

•For children between 1-19 yrs, cancer is the fourth leading cause of death overall, and the leading cause of disease related death. It remains responsible for more deaths from ages 1-19 than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and AIDS combined.

•Another rough estimate would be that 150,000 potential life years are lost annually to childhood cancer.

•Leukemia, tumors of the brain and nervous system, the lymphatic system, kidneys, bones and muscles are the most common childhood cancers.

•In 2008, 10,730 children under the age of 15 are anticipated to be newly diagnosed with cancer. It is expected that 80% of these children will survive 5 years or more. Nonetheless about 1,490 children will die from cancer this year.

•We are continuing to see late deaths of children presumed “cured” due to late relapses, toxicity and secondary malignancy.

•Combined, the cancers of children, adolescents and young adults to age 20 are the sixth most common cancer in the U.S.

•In is estimated that about 1 in every 450 adults is a childhood cancer survivor.

•For every six research dollars per patient with AIDS and every one research dollar per patient with breast cancer, a child with cancer receives 30 cents. This fact absolutely disgusts me.

Childhood Cancer awareness month- Are you aware?

2011-09-03T06:24:00.000-07:00

Last year, a page was created on Facebook called "Oprah please do a show on childhood cancer". The purpose of the page was to get Oprah to do a show about childhood cancer before her show ended. Over 50000 people liked the page, thousands of tweets went out to Oprah, her producers, celebrities. Celebrities retweeted, it was amazing to watch everyone come together trying to raise awareness about Childhood cancer. Unfortunately we were not successful.

It would be easy to say ok that didn't work, oh well, we tried and move on with our lives. In most cases this is not the case, and it shouldn't be. One failed attempt will not make us give up, The issue is too important for us to let go and thankfully a lot of people feel the same way.

I have met The blanket fairy on twitter months and months ago. She saw a tweet about a little girl named Layla Grace who had just relapsed with neuroblastoma. After following her story she came across a couple of other girls with cancer that were getting treatment at her local hospital and asked to make custom blankets for them. From that day on the Blanket fairy was born. She has sent blankets to kids across the nation suffering from cancer, she has organized Christmas in July, bringing together volunteers with peditric cancer patients and much more. She is a perfect example how one person, that doesn't have a child of her own dealing with this disease, has and can make a difference.

She is now trying to get Ellen to do a show about Childhood cancer. Will she succeed? Only time will tell, BUT she tries and doesn't give up. It's people like her that make a difference in the lifes of these kids. So please go like her on Facebook and tell her what an inspiration she is!

Here is a video that was made for the Oprah campaign..Asher is in it and so are many other children, some that became angels. We don't just fight for Asher we fight for every child that has/had cancer, for the 46 everyday that are diagnosed and for the 7 that will pass away today. We also fight for the heroes that lost the fight...never to be forgotten.

Asher and our new addition to the family

2011-08-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

We had another great weekend with Asher. Actually we always do, how could we not? He makes us laugh. He soaks up all the attention he gets like a sponge. I haven't mentioned our new addition to our household. Let me introduce you to our new still nameless puppy..

We already have 2 dogs, a german shepherd and a chihuahua mutt and didn't plan on adding another dog BUT while I was at work I got a message from my daughter (who happened to be at our house), saying that someone stopped at the end of our driveway, got out, was doing something on the ground and then left. She went outside to see what that person did and noticed this puppy laying on the ground. Some (excuse my language) heartless idiot dumped this puppy in front of our house, not to mention it was 106 degrees outside. If my daughter hadn't been home this dog would have not survived till we got off work. The vet estimated she was about 2-3 weeks old which meant bottle feedings. She is now between 5-6 weeks old and my husband decided we are just gonna keep her cause we just fell in love with her.

Asher tried to help feeding her with the bottle, it was too cute to watch. He doesn't seem too happy with her now that she is more mobile and playful, especially when she tries to join him in the pool...

He looks like he's ready to knock her out lol

but

he doesn't mind if she just sits by and watches him : )

and he always loves when g'ma makes him laugh

September is Childhood cancer awareness month...get ready i will do lots of posting

A few things to report..

2011-08-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I forgot to mention a couple of things. First of all, my daughter received a call from Ashers endocrinologist (Hormone doc) a couple of weeks ago. They want to test if Ashers body is making Cortisone on its own and the only way to do it is for him to stop taking his Hydrocortisone pills. Appearently you can't just stop immediately so my daughter had to "wean" him off.

Asher used to take half a tablet in the morning and a quarter tablet at night, crushed in his bottle. Anytime he ran a fever or was in a stressful situation such as MRIs etc we had to triple his dosage. The doc told my daugher to give him half a pill each day for a week, then go to a quarter of a pill and then to none. We are now at the "none stage". They will test him in October to see if his body is producing cortisone itself.

I have to admit when my daughter first told me about it I was a little nervous about this. He has an emergency cortisone shot that is always in his diaper bag and goes wherever he goes. When he was released from the hospital after his brain surgery we were trained on how to administer this shot. I remember the words :"If he ever faints, passes out, vomits and can't keep his meds down etc, it is really important that you give him this shot BEFORE you call 911" Needless to say this really worried us at first, once Asher settled in at home and we realized this would not be something we had to do often we were calming down a bit. I do have to say we never had to give him the shot yet and hopefully never have to.

I'm no doctor but I do understand that this hormone is very important, I actually asked his doc at our last appointment how long he will have to take this medicine and she replied it could be for the rest of his life. Cortisone is a steroid and with long term steroids it can also cause weight problems. That's one reason why they always have him on the lowest dosage possible. So far he seems to be doing good without his pills. I hope and pray that his body actually produces it himself so we can mark another pill off his list. The only other pills that he takes at this point is Levothyroxine for his thyroid.

The Soonerstart therapist had asked my daughter about getting Ashers eyes tested again. His next appointment was scheduled for October and the therapist wanted him checked earlier. My daughter got him in last week, which was amazing because that eye doctor is BOOKED full constantly. He stated that the right side of both of Ashers eyes seem to be having issues but it sounded like it's not anything that he can correct. The doc said usually the patient will substitute it by turning their heads, which Asher does. I've noticed it myself when he looks for something in a drawer etc, he slightly turns his head. The doc said he isn't planning on doing surgery, glasses or patches. He's the expert, appearently only 1 of 18 pediatric neuro Ophthalmologists in the US. He will see him again next year.

Well that was my update for this weekend..we had a blast with Asher as always. Lots of playing in the pool and lots of hugs and kisses. Couldn't have wished for a sweeter little grandson : )

Trip to the zoo/Poker Run for Cash Caywood

2011-08-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

First of all...I've been waiting for months to take Asher to the zoo. The weather here has been unbearable hot and I did not want to torture Asher by walking around a zoo for hours. We finally got some rain at the end of last week and it was actually very nice so I decided Saturday would be a great day for our long awaited trip.

Have I mentioned before that my plans hardly ever work out? Well..Friday I started feeling soreness in my mouth, by Saturday I was NOT feeling well at all. I had already told both of my daughters that we were going and I did not want to ruin it for everyone. So I went. We met. We were there 2 hours and I could not handle the pain anymore. Absessed tooth. OUCH. Here is one picture I was able to snap..

My girls are grown and thank god they are old enough to understand that I just didn't feel well. Sure wished I could have enjoyed our trip more. We will try it again soon!

If you've been keeping up with Asher you most likely remember me mention Cash Caywood many times over the last 18 months. We had met Cash and his mommy at the hospital shortly after Asher was diagnosed and the strength both showed us gave us hope. Cash was just a few days older than Asher and lost his fight to cancer in February of 2010 at the age of 15 months. Asher and my daughter were in Indiana for Ashers proton radiation and the news hit all of us hard..it was a reminder to us how fast cancer can spin out of control and take an innocent life even when you think things are looking up. One more reason why we always go into full anxiety mode when it's time for Ashers MRIs.

We attended the first annual poker run in memory of Cash last year and it's that time again..
I'm hoping to attend the second poker run this year, we don't have a motorcycle but all street legal vehicles are allowed. It's our way to show Cash's family that we have not forgotten him and never will. If you are in Oklahoma and would like to show your support, please do so, everyone is welcome! Here is the flyer from their facebook page:

Hope to see you there!

What life is all about...

2011-08-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

When my girls were little we were so busy trying to make it in life. Between working, paying bills and what not you really do forget to just sit back and enjoy the time you have with your children while they are young. Once I became a grandma, I wondered...where did the time go? Seems like it was just yesterday when my girls were babies.

When Asher was really young, lets say like 2-3 months old, my daughter used to say things like "I can't wait till he walks, I can't wait till he talks". I always responded and said: Enjoy this time, you will never get it back. It all changed when he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. I remember driving home one day from the hospital with my youngest daughter (Ashers aunt), we were talking about what had happened that day and she told me that someone (not anyone from our family) had expressed that Asher would never be "right" again. She was so upset by that statement, I was furious but my response to her was this: We don't know what the future holds for Asher, he might be just fine, he could be delayed or worse, I DO NOT CARE all I want is for him to come out of the hospital alive. We deal with everything else later. At that moment nobody cared if he could walk or talk again. He was fighting for his life.

Almost 2 years later and here we are. Asher is alive. He's walking. He's not talking much but he's getting there and we love every little step in progress that he is making. We celebrate because we know how hard he had to fight to get to these milestones. When he comes to my house everything revolves around Asher. He gets our undivided attention pretty well the whole time. We learned that we can not take him being with us for granted, now we just sit back and enjoy the time we have, love him, play with him. He keeps us laughing, keeps us amazed and keeps us on our toes.

I love my weekends, i'm a night owl at heart, love to sleep in a little bit when I can. Asher appearently didn't get this from me since he loves to wake up around 5 am on saturday mornings when he's here. I don't even get up at 5am when I have to go to work. I wouldn't get up for just anyone at this ungodly hour lol, but I'm guessing that he loves being with us so much he doesn't want to miss a second...that's my excuse for him anyways. Just let me believe this ...please lol.

Here are pictures from this weekend...enjoy!

Pool time...as always

He was cracking up pouring water on himself

See the pure delight in his eyes? It's a sign that you are getting ready to get wet.

A little clip of his progress...saying "blue" and "yeah" and clapping!

Sorry for the poor quality..video was taken by my cellphone.

Loving on g'pa Clay..we are working on the loving on g'ma part *pout*

Playing "where is Asher?" Bet you can't find him

Putting him to work. He loves to help g'pa wash g'mas car.

Then he ended up helping do laundry with g'ma and after all this fun and hard work he ends up like this..

and that is the time when we get to sit down and take a break : )

Love you Asher, thank you for reminding me what life is all about XOXO g'ma

This heat is making it hard to stay cool

2011-08-02T19:20:00.000-07:00

Asher loves being outside, he gets so upset when we try to keep him in the house, especially when one of us goes outside for some reason. Talk about throwing a fit!

We live in Oklahoma, we've had 40 days over 100 degrees this summer, actually today I believe I saw somewhere that it was 110. It is HOT. This makes it almost impossible for us to enjoy being outside and trying to keep Asher cool and in the shade. Well there is not much shade around here with the sun beating down hard and heavy.

Even though we have limited out time outside we do let Asher go out and play in his pool. This weekend was no different. Sunday he was in his pool at 8 am. Till the sun caught up and it was time for him to go in. Later he wanted to go back in his pool so we had to get our canopy out so he can be in the shade. It's a lot of work for something that should be simple but seeing him having a good time is worth it.

Here are a few pictures from this weekend...

Asher went to sleep at 8:15 Saturday evening and woke up at 5:45 Sunday morning. He was ready to play!
Here is Asher and my hubby eating breakfast at the "big boys table"

We had LOTS of pool time

Blowing bubbles in the garage

Even though he refuses to wear a hat, he has ways to stay cool : )

And a quick ride that ended with Asher asleep on his tractor

Had a great weekend with my little buddy, can't wait to do it all again next weekend! Love you lil Asher man XOXO

Finally got it!

2011-07-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

Remember this post? This little boy never seizes to amaze me and at the end I said that I was hoping to get pictures or make a video. Well it didn't happen...till TODAY!

Physical/occupational therapy is paying off..he used his right arm/hand!!

Ashers Great Opa (Grandpa)

2011-07-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

My father has been on my mind a lot this month. He would have turned 71 this July. He passed away on September 18 1998 at the age of 58. I was 29 at the time.

I was staying at a friends house in Texas. She and her hubby went on vacation. I received a call the evening of September 18th from my brother to inform me that my beloved dad had passed away. I was in complete shock, no idea of how, why so sudden. All he knew was that a neighbor of my moms had told her that our dad had passed away. My dad was living with a girlfriend that was consumed of jealousy of the relationship my father and I shared. Appearently her jealousy was so bad that she didn't even bother to call me about my fathers passing, or anyone else in our family actually. I remember my brother telling me that I needed to come home to germany, he knew I was daddys little girl and if one person had to be at the funeral it had to be me.

I had no money to fly home, no valid passport, after several calls begging and pleading i was still not able to find the resources to make the flight. My brother ended up telling me to book a flight and him and my mom would split the cost. My parents had been divorced for 15 years but my mom knew I had to get home. I waited till saturday morning to call my fathers girlfriend, with the time difference I did not want to call her in the middle of the night. At 9 am i made the call to my dads girlfriend and asked her when the funeral would be. She told me it was planned for Tuesday. I asked her what i needed to do, her response was: "Nothing, you don't even have to show up for the funeral"

Talk about me being upset, i was heart broken, shocked, even at this time she was planning to shut me out and i'm guessing she figured since it was already saturday there was no way I could make it to the funeral . I still needed to figure out the passport issue. My flight was booked for Monday afternoon, to arrive in Hamburg on Tuesday about 1 1/ 2 hours before my fathers funeral. I made calls to the German embassy in Washington, the consulate in Houston, several calls till I finally got hold of the assistant consulate in Houston. He asked me if i was still a german citizen and where did I get my last passport from. I told him I had received my last passport from the Houston consulate but it was expired and I had no way to get it since i was in texas. He said: No problem we have all that info on microfilm and we will fax a statement to the airline, since you are still a german citizen, Germany has to let you in, but if you plan on returning to the states you will need to get your passport while you are home or you won't be let back into the states.

After faxing the consulate a copy of my drivers license I had to take a leap of faith and made my way to the Dallas airport. I parked my car in the long term parking area ($6 per day) with no idea how to get it out later or how to pay for it. Thankfully Lufthansa had already received the fax from the consulate and I was able to board the flight with the fax in my hand.

My brother picked me up from the airport with his family, I changed clothes in the car on the way to the church which was about an hour drive and we all went and sat in the second row pew. I will never forget the look on the face of his girlfriend when she came into the church and saw me. Complete disbelief. She sat right in front of us, didn't greet us, didn't say a word. I think she was in shock to see me sitting right there.

I listened to the pastor speak, it was very upsetting to listen to, it was full of praise for his girlfriend and my children and I were only mentioned a couple of times, but at least the pastor talked about how much my dad loved visiting his daughter and grandchildren in the states. After the service we were walking outside and his girlfriend was standing there with her grown children, after all the grief this woman has caused me I was still ready to forget and forgive, I had lost my dad, I was broken and I went to hug her. I went toward her, opened my arms and she turned her back on me. I walked away crying, my brother holding me up. Her children came after us and caught up with us at the car, they apologized for their moms behavior and asked if there as anything they could do for us. I said: I want to know what happened, what were his last words, did he mention me, my kids? They said they would talk to her and maybe we could get together in a couple of days to get my questions answered.

We got a call a few days later to meet up with his girlfriend and his children at her house. My brother and I went, I had questions. This was the first death in my family I ever had to deal with and had no idea what i needed to do. It was tense. I asked her what happened. She said he had cancer. I asked her if he left me a letter or if he said anything about me, she said nope, didn't mention you at all. I asked her if I could get on his computer or look at his personal stuff to see if he left a note, a letter something. She refused to give me access. She handed me pictures that my father took of my kids and family, handed me the presents i had given him over the years, that was it. I asked one more time. My dad didn't say anything to say to me? Nothing? Did he tell you to tell me that he loved me? Anything? Her reply was: If your dad loved you he would have told you that he had cancer, he found out about 2 months ago. My jar dropped, i was speechless. My brother got up, told me to grab my stuff and turned to my fathers girlfriend and said: I do not care what you have to say about me, but EVERYONE knows how much my father loved my sister and I will not sit here and listen to this. He grabbed me, told me I didn't have to put up with this and led me to his car.

To make a long story short.We were not done having to deal with this lady yet. His obituary in the paper was huge, my brother and I were never mentioned in it, but she wanted me to pay for it, pay rent for my father, anything and everything she asked for. In the meantime my mother was in the hospital and passed away exactly a month after my father on October 18th. On my birthday. My fathers girlfriend asked to get reimbursed for funeral expenses, I was told i could give her my moms jewelry as pay, even though the funeral was paid with my dads money from his bank account. I was no longer sad or heart broken, now i was furious. I ended up running out of time dealing with that woman since I had to return to the states.

I was angry, I was furious and I planned to make this womans life as miserable as I could, I wanted to hurt her just as much as she had hurt me. I had no idea how but i was on a mission...I never did. One thing that hurt me most about this whole ordeal was knowing that my father never told me that he had cancer. His girlfiends words kept ringing in my head..he didn't love you or he would have told you. He robbed me of being able to say goodbye. Months went by and I had a hard time dealing with that and after looking at some of the paperwork that I brought back from germany it dawned on me. He didn't rob me of saying bye to him, he loved me so much, that's why he didn't tell me. He protected me to the end, he knew if he told me he was diagnosed with cancer i would be on my next flight home to be with him, and i would sit there and wait for him to die. My children were here, my life was in the states. His prognosis was 6 weeks to a year, he lived 2 months. He knew i wouldn't have left his side. Since I went to his funeral it also allowed me to spend the last month of my mothers life with her.This was my fathers final gift to me.

Ashers great grandpa (opa) would have loved Asher just as much as I do. Sometimes I can imagine how my dad would have played with him, how he would have smiled at Ashers little funny things he does. I wished Asher could have known my dad. My dads cancer was the first time i ever dealt with cancer of a family member. I protect Asher and my kids now, or try to, just as much as my dad protected me. One day I want my kids to be able to say..that was her final gift to us. She loved us with all her heart and protected us and always wanted what was best for us.

Back to school with Master Lock

2011-07-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

After having two children and successfully getting them thru high school, I've learned a few things over the years how to survive the school year without going completely insane.

First of all, check out sales, lots of sales are happening right before school starts, use coupons and get an even better deal. I learned to get the basics only at the beginning of the year and not get the whole supply list because some teachers don't use the items or add some extra items. Don't drive yourself crazy if you can't find everything you are looking for, trust me, you will find it later on!

Master Lock® has hired a new specialist on student life to help students safely and securely navigate this school year in style. The Master Mind, a suave and funny college grad, is staring in a humorous online video series on in which he, along with his clever Little Sister, are setting out to answer students’ most frequent, awkward and perplexing questions on www.facebook.com/masterlock.

Parents and students are invited to submit their own questions for the Master Mind and participate in daily sweepstakes for a chance to win back-to-school must-haves, including popular Master Lock school and campus security products.

**Disclosure: This post is my entry for a contest for a Master Lock back-to-school prize pack as a member of the Mom Bloggers Club.**

We've been so busy..

2011-07-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

We have had over 100 degrees weather basically everyday for the last 3 weeks and it is starting to wear us out. You can hardly go outside without getting soaked because of the humidity. Don't get me wrong I sure love summers, just not everyday with record heat.

It's been challenging to keep Asher shaded and occupied since he loves being outdoors so much. We have a little pool for him to get in at the house and this weekend we went to the lake. Even with sunblock on and being very careful to keep him in the shade as much as possible he still turned a little red.

We had a family fun day at the lake on Saturday, just us, the kids and the grandkids, it was fun. Asher showed me a side of him that I have never really seen before..wanting to do what other kids do. Our granddaughter who is 3 1/2 was with us this weekend and Asher simply refused to eat in his high chair, oh no, he wanted to sit with the "big girl" and eat his dinner.

Big boy

He had to be a total clown in the pool to impress his cousin

Sit on the stool like his "big" cousin

and even nap when his cousin napped.

It was so fun to watch him interact with another child close to his age and it really amazed me how much he imitates everything another child is doing. After seeing it myself this weekend I wished I could spy on him at daycare. I bet it would be so much fun.

This little boy never seizes to amaze me

2011-07-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating last week. Let's just say it wasn't one of our best weekends lol. Asher woke up at 6 am and was cranky pretty well all day long. I heard a lot of NOOOOs. Actually non stop. Put him on his tractor. NOOO. Take him off his tractor. NOOO. Sigh. I was worn out and frustrated. It's just hard to see him not happy and whatever you do does not seem to be what he wants. I don't think he knew what he wanted himself.

But anyhow..today Asher came back for his Friday night at our house and so far it's been a good day. Actually this weekend he will be here till sunday since my daughter and her boyfriend went to the lake. I offered to watch him so they could get a weekend alone and of course I have no problem spending a little extra time with him : )

He surprised us today. As you know Asher loves to get pulled on his tractor. My husband was pulling him and told him to honk the horn. Asher did. I said: "Asher use your other hand" and he struggled to get his right arm to the horn but ended up getting his right hand on the horn and then pushed it down with his left hand!! WOW HUGE progress. Just huge! You could tell he had to concentrate hard to get his arm to do what he wanted it to do but all the hard work my daughter and the physical/occupational therapist have done for months are starting to show results.

I am beyond happy at this point, hopefully i can get some pictures this weekend or maybe a video of him doing this. I'm gonna go do the happy dance now : )

Ashers doctors appointment

2011-06-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Asher had his appointment at the brain tumor clinic today. First up was Dr Gross who performed his surgery. She came in, observed him for a little while and pointed out that his hair has gotten so thick that you can't even see the incision anymore. That was about it. She's not a lady of many words but she's still our hero for doing what seemed impossible, removing all of the tumor.

Next up was Dr. McNall, his oncologist. She is our favorite doctor, just the way she interacts with Asher makes me smile. She thinks that his eyes have straightened out a little but still thinks there might be surgery necessary to tighten the muscles just a tiny bit. My daughter told her that Ashers next eye doc appointment is in October and Dr. McNall said that he is very swamped and even if she made an appointment she didn't think she could get Asher in any sooner than that. She was very impressed by how much his leg brace seems to straighten out his leg, even though he still swings it outward he is doing much better. Asher was a big flirt with Dr. McNall today, just grinning and smiling at her and of course babbling on non stop. She said that he has done a lot of progress since the last time she's seen him and wants his next MRI to be in 4 months.
We also discussed our whole Indiana dilemma. Asher received his proton radiation in Bloomington, Indiana. Last year we went for a follow up visit but since then all the doctors that were part of his treatment have left the proton center. We were supposed to take Asher back at the beginning of June this year but at our last appointment she said she would contact them and see if it was even necessary for us to make this trip. Today she told us that she had talked to the proton center and told them that she will send them Ashers reports and scans but if he needed to be seen by a radiolgy oncologist she would do this at the new Procure center her in Oklahoma City. So it looks like we won't have to do another trip to Indiana. That's good.

Next doctor that came in was a psychologist to see if there were any behavior or mental health issues. She was really nice and asked a lot of questions how Asher was doing in daycare. At one point she asked..do you have any questions? concerns? Asher was looking at her and said uhmmmm...She laughed and said..well Asher keep thinking about it. She then asked if we had any problems with him and Asher answered : NO. It was so funny.

Then came the endocrinologist, I always forget her name. She's really nice too. She showed us his growth and weight chart. Asher now weighs 32.4 lbs and is in the 70% range for his age group and his height is in the lower 10% range. This is something they monitor closely to see if they need to reduce/increase his medication etc, or if he ends up needing growth hormones. I asked her about his current medication that he takes, the thyroid medicine and hydrocortizone. She stated that he will most likely take them for the rest of his life but they will regularly check his levels to see if it's needed or not.

Overall it was a great appointment, everyone was impressed by the progress he's been making. Here are some pictures from today:

Looking out the window

Playing in the waiting area

Looking cool in g'mas sunglasses lol

Told you he was a big flirt today : )

Cancer doesn't just effect the patient

2011-06-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

My youngest daughter recently enrolled in college and had to do an assignment for her English class. She chose to write about Asher. I thought I would share her story here..

Ashers aunt Crystal

He was a healthy baby, so we all thought. Not even one years old yet and he started getting sick. No appetite, stopped walking even though he was just learning how to do that. Days go back he started getting weaker and weaker. No one knew what was going on.

First hospital visit they tell us he was constipated and sent him home. Then came the second hospital visit they tell us he is dehydrated they also sent us home. They are doctors so of course you assume they are right. We take him home and try to fill him up with liquids which he was having no part of that, he just wanted to be held. Next day came and he became lethargic. So we call the OU Children's Hospital and explain to them what was going on they tell us to bring him in. Hours of testings and waiting for lab results who would of ever thought it would be a tumor. Not just any tumor, a malignant brain tumor.

Never in my life did I ever think I would be holding the hand of my nephew in a hospital bed. Trying to hold back all the emotions that were building up just so I could be strong for my sister was very hard for me. Waiting for surgery day it seemed like forever even though it was only a couple days away. Seeing him laying in his bed with all these tubes and drains hooked up to him broke my heart. But I would still go sit in there with him knowing he probably couldn't hear or understand what I was saying to him, I would still talk to him.

Surgery day has arrived and every ones emotions were crazy.Some people were angry or crying. His surgery took a few hours. Here comes the surgeon and everyone jumps to their feet to hear the news. They removed the whole thing. Everyone was so overwhelmed with happiness. The day I finally got to hold him it felt like I was holding the world in my arms. I didn't want to let anyone else hold him.

He got to go home October 30th the day before Halloween. He and my sister had to go to Indiana for him to do proton radiation. They were gone for a couple months. He is now 2 1/2 years old and is doing so much better. He has improved so much and overcame so many obstacles. What I am getting to is never give up on faith. Even when it feels like there is nothing left you have to keep believing. And remember tomorrow is never promised to you.

Ashers MRI

2011-06-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

My daughter called the clinic today and asked for someone to let her know the results of the MRI that Asher had on Sunday. A nurse finally called her back and told her that Ashers MRI has not changed and she could discuss all the details of the scan with the doctor on monday at his appointment. SOOO...since she stated it has not changed and since his scans have been clear I take that as good news!!
I will update on Monday how his appointment went with the doctor. Asher, his mommy and her boyfriend went on a little mini vacation this weekend, so i will not have him on friday like i usually do.
Thank you all so much for all the prayers, they are working!! We are so greatful to each and everyone of you that keeps checking on Asher.

Busy Busy weekend..

2011-06-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty busy weekend for us this time around. Asher got here friday evening and we spent most of our time outside. I set up his little frog pool and let the water warm up before he got here but he didn't seem too interested except for the few times he got in it. Figures.

We had some strange weather too..It would be really hot, the next minute it would get cloudy and then it would rain hard. Ten minutes later the sun was back out.

A friend of mine who is part of a local bicycle group told me about a group of bikers that were coming thru the city called the Texas 4000. It's a group of students from the University of Texas (Austin) that ride from Austin, TX to Anchorage, Alaska every year to raise money and awareness about cancer. I told him that I wished I could have met them with Asher and he told me that they had a rest day in OKC and would be holding a safety thing for kids on Saturday. He was sure they would love to meet Asher since it gives them encouragement and the push to keep going back on their bikes and also serves as a reminder to them what they are riding for. He was generous enough to offer to meet us at their rest location and introduce us. Thanks Phil! So that's what we did Saturday afternoon, we met the most awesome bunch of people riding the longest charity ride in the world. We told them about what Asher had gone thru and they cared..a lot. They were even kind enough to do a group picture with Asher and my daughter (who ended up meeting us there) and put Ashers name on their banner. You can follow their journey at http://www.texas4000.org/ or follow them on twitter under @tx4k. If you have a dollar to spare I highly encourage you to donate to their cause, they are simply amazing.

Can you imagine riding a bike from Texas to Alaska? I sure can't!

Asher went home with his mommy after meeting Texas 4000 and we met up again at 9 am Sunday morning at the Childrens hospital for his MRI. They finally got started on him around 10 am and we were told this will be a full head/spine scan which would last 2 1/2 - 3 hours. We were called back around 1pm and Asher was still pretty woozy but was doing ok. After drinking some juice the nurse was satisfied that he would be ok and released him. Here is Asher after the MRI..

Poor lil guy : (

So now the waiting starts for the results. I'm guessing we should hear something tomorrow or tuesday, please keep praying for a clear scan. His doctors appointment to discuss the results will be on the 20th. So proud of you little Asher, you are beating the odds! Love you bunches and bunches

Ashers day in the city

2011-06-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

Asher is obsessed with the word NO. Everything is no. Asher are you a good boy? NO. You are so cute Asher!! NO. Now I try to ask him questions that should be answered with yes and everytime he says NO i respond with YES. It is too funny though. He's dead serious about it too when he answers.

We decided to change our routine yesterday and instead of hanging out around the yard, pulling him on the tractor etc we ended up taking him to Oklahoma Citys Redhawks minor league baseball Kids Day. I'm not sure what I was thinking, come on I've had two children very close in age and don't remember this being so hard, or maybe i'm just getting old and forgot what a pain it is trying to get a little one and the rest of the family ready and out of the house. I think we got there about 30 minutes later than I had planned. I don't like when my plans don't work out nor do i like being late. We made it and I guess that's really all that matters.

Asher had a good time, we walked around the stadium for a few minutes and then decided to go on the field for a little while. Have I mentioned that it was hot today? Yeah like 100 degrees or so HOT. The first thing he was fascinated with was some guy doing tricks with a rope. Then he got to meet the mascot "Cooper". He ran from one base to another, threw balls into containers and seemed to enjoy himself. It didn't take long for me to notice though that he was looking hot and pretty red so we did not stay out on the field long and ended back up in the shade. I had gotten tickets for this event from the Chevy group that I am part of. We all enjoyed it, thank you Chevy!

After we left the stadium we walked around Bricktown for a little while and came across a small water fountain park..I think it was called singing water fountains..they weren't singing nor were they moving up in down in rhythm. Weird name. Anyhow..off with the socks and shoes and we let Asher cool off there for a little while. He was a little bit timid at first but after a couple of minutes he enjoyed playing with the water.

We had a great day and Asher enjoyed it, of course when I asked him in the car if he had fun, his response was....well you guessed it. NO. Hope he learns to say Yes soon lol.

Ashers MRI is coming up..

2011-05-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention in my previous post that we have the date for Ashers next MRI. June 12th! On a sunday of all days. I'm kind of half way expecting them to call and said they messed up on the date..but so far they haven't.

His follow up doctors appointment will be June 20th to discuss the results and do an overall follow up with all of his doctors that have been part of his treatment. My daughter usually hears within a day or two what the results are of the MRI. They know that we will be sitting on pins and needles and don't expect us to wait a whole week.

Scanxiety is starting to set in and even though we've had clear results so far it doesn't make the next MRIs any easier. Please pray for another clear scan.

What a fun weekend

2011-05-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

My daughter told me last week that Ashers nose was looking horrible and I had no idea how bad it was till I saw him myself Friday after work. Talk about a bad case of chapping between his lips and nose. I've had a few people give me suggestions on how to treat it. Hope they work. It only seemed to bother him when I tried to wipe his nose. Instead of a tissue I started using a wipe or a wet washcloth, hoping it would not hurt as much or make it worse. Poor little guy.

It did not keep him from having a fun time though, which is good. We spent a lot of time outside. We are just outside people and Asher seems to follow right into our footsteps on this one. I can't wait for him to get a little older and actually stay occupied with one thing for longer than 5 minutes!

Our backyard is fenced in. You have to open the chainlink gate to get in ( Asher did figure out this weekend how to open the gate, I totally expect my dogs to be gone in the next 1-2 visits). Both our dogs are usually outside during the day and Asher LOVES to go play back there when he's here. There is one problem though. One of our dogs is a 85lb german shepherd, she's a big baby and loves Asher but we always worry about her knocking him down if she was running after something and besides that, even though i know my dogs well I still won't let Asher play around them without me right there. We solve that problem by putting our big dog in the dog kennel when Asher is in the backyard. BUT ...there is another problem..appearently Asher loves to get in the kennel too. So to solve the problem I decided they had to share...if Asher is in the kennel, the dog is on the outside..when Asher is in the backyard the dog is in the kennel. Problem solved!

And no he's not crying, he's wiping his eyes, he loves to go in the kennel and close the gate, of course he can't latch it. So he's free to walk in and out.

It started getting warmer and warmer and we ended up putting the sprinkler out for Asher to play with the water a little while..I think it lasted about 3 minutes.

Here is one of my favorite pics...my hubby and Asher

And since he woke up at 6 am I was pretty sure our little Asher had to be getting tired soon so I ended up feeding him lunch. His eyes were getting heavier and heavier while eating his PBJ sandwich, so I asked: "Asher are you ready for night night?" Ashers response was: "NO" Two minutes later I took this picture...

Yep, not tired at all : )

Weekend update!

2011-05-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

Asher had an appointment on friday for a psychology test. We were told at one of his doctors appointments by the psychologist that it would be a good idea to get him into an extensive test to see if he's behind or how far behind he is. Soonerstart does an evaluation and a while back we were told they think he was at about a 10 month level. 55% behind his age group.

My daughter was told friday by the person doing the extensive testing that he's actually too young to be evaluated. She suggested to come back in another 6 months or so. My daughter told her what we were told what level Soonerstart thinks he's at. The lady disagreed. She thinks he's doing a lot more than a 10 month old child would. For example..putting a jacket on. He can't do that, but not because he doesn't know how, he tries to help but he isn't able to put the jacket on because his inability to use his right hand. Hope that makes sense. The lady suggested to work on commands with him but just couldn't do an accurate test, she was very impressed how he's using his right foot, she said from looking at him she would have never know that he used to have it pointed to the right, except for the limp.

So there's that. From what my daughter said it was pretty encouraging : ) YAY Asher!
He is really starting to pick up a lot of things lately, I do have to give the daycare credit for that. He's trying to imitate other children and the things they do and THAT is a good thing!
Last weekend when our granddaughter was here she was sitting on our bar stool to eat a snack. First thing Asher wanted to do when we came in the house was to sit on that bar stool.

My husband was right behind him so he wouldn't fall

This is what I saw when I woke up Saturday morning.

My two favorite boys in the world drinking their "coffee" on the front steps.

Eating a snack outside

NEVER EVER assume he's not getting into trouble when he's playing in his room. As soon as i took this picture i said...NOOO ASHER...ok maybe i yelled it...big mistake, he took off and in the process of running away from me he managed to take his dirty diaper off, stepping in it and then sat down on my carpet.

I scrubbed everything he had touched, sat on, and threw him in the bath tub after rinsing him first.

Wasn't funny at the time but it's hillarious now : )

And he has learned to say the word NO. Everything now is NO. Figures.

Still love you little Asherman! Always and forever.

Amazing progress..

2011-05-16T19:14:00.000-07:00

My daughter called me today and said she was looking for a new post on Ashers website yesterday and there wasn't one. Well..HELLO i've been a little busy this weekend dear, but here is your post : ) Love ya!

Asher got here friday and we did what we do every weekend when he's here, pulling him on the tractor and blowing bubbles. Just love watching him having a good time. We did notice a bite mark on his arm, appearently some kid at daycare must have bit him. I took a pic of it and sent it to my daughter. She was shocked and said she would talk to the daycare on Monday (today). Yes we know there will be injuries at daycare but it would have been nice if they had mentioned it when he was picked up friday afternoon. My daughter talked to the director of the daycare today and he said they usually file an injury report to let the parent know, he will check with the room teacher to see why she didn't do that on friday.

I watched him very closely this weekend and was just amazed to see the progress he's making.

He waves bye bye.

He gives kisses and his new thing is to give hugs. He puts his little head on my shoulder and at one point he was petting me on my back like I usually do with him. Love it!

When I ask him to throw something in the trash he actually does it. Only problem...he also just picks up random things and throws them in the trashcan. : )

We have a riding toy that is a little big for him but this weekend he was sitting on it and started scooting it! First time i've ever seen him do that.

He gets on and off his battery powered 4 wheeler, still needs some help half the time specially if he is in the position when he needs to put his right leg over the 4wheeler, but lots of times he can get on himself.

We were in the woods and he started walking off, I asked: Where are you going? He put his little index finger up and I swear I heard him say : Be right back. Even my husband looked at me and said he heard it too.

He will say uh oh when he drops something.

His speech therapist told my daughter today she was very impressed with his progress. He seems to try harder to pronounce words.

All these things might sound little when you compare them to a child the same age, but to us these are HUGE milestones. I really do think lately he's been catching on to a lot of things and it's so promising to see him do this.
Here are a few pictures...

The button to make it go is on the right side..figures. He has to reach over with his left hand.

SPOILED!!..He's waving bye bye in this pic : )

Asher watching Brodie (our granddaughter) blow bubbles

Trying to blow bubbles too.

G'pa Clay with his grandkids

18 months ago I couldn't have imagined seeing him look so healthy again.

He's doing amazingly well. We are so blessed. So proud of you lil Asherman!

Got my Asher loving this weekend..

2011-05-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

We met up with my daughter and her boyfriend after work friday to pick Asher up. After a long horrible week at work I was ready to see my little buddy. He just makes me smile. We did our normal stuff once we got to our house, tractor pulling, blowing bubbles...He keeps us busy and we enjoy every minute of it.

Saturday: Asher woke up at 6:15. Thankfully my husband got up with him, when I got up an hour later both of them were sitting on our front door steps with their jammies on. Too cute! In that hour I was asleep my husband managed to teach Asher where his bellybutton is. When you ask him where his belly button is he will lift up his shirt and put his little chubby finger in his belly button. This is important progress in my eyes..it tells me he understands what we are asking, just like he honks is horn on his tractor when I tell him to "honk". I've noticed different things he's caught on to. I can say...go get your sippy and he will go get it. He also waves bye bye now. He's catching on! So happy to see these improvements. We were outside all morning till it was time to eat lunch, then Asher took a nap. Once he woke up he wanted to go back out. Pretty well all day Saturday we were outside till we met back up with his mommy, the weather was perfect, Asher loved it.

Sunday of course was Mother's day and both my daughters, boyfriend and Asher came to eat dinner with us so I had the chance to spend some more time with my little Asher bug. We were so busy with him this weekend I didn't take a lot of pictures so I'm gonna go ahead and steal some of my daughters that she posted on Facebook today..Asher at the park Sunday morning : )

On his tippy toes..another improvement of his right leg/foot

Love his smiles.

Asher you will never know how much i do love you little man.

May is Brain Tumor Awareness month!

2011-05-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Years ago I had no clue about Brain tumors. I had no idea there was even a month dedicated to raise awareness about Brain tumors. Unless you are faced with someone in your family dealing with this disease, or a friend, I completely understand that you wouldn't know that May is Brain Tumor Awareness month. Trust me, I've been there myself. In the last few years we've had three. yes that's THREE cases of Brain tumors in our family. To give you an idea how nasty this disease is..Asher is the only one out of the three still with us.

I would love to turn the clock back to a few years ago. To be able to completely tune out stories heard on TV, read in the paper or on the internet about cancer, brain tumors and all the heart breaking blogs of parents fighting for their kids lives. I can not do so anymore. We ARE aware. We didn't want to be aware. We did not want Asher to be diagnosed with a brain tumor. It wasn't our choice. Now that we are aware how many children besides Asher are dealing with brain tumors we do not want to turn our heads anymore. We are amazed at the numbers, the similarities of misdiagnosis and how many lifes are claimed each year.

FACTS:
Brain tumors are the leading cause of cancer death in children in the United States.

Each year over 2200 children are diagnosed with Brain tumors. Think it can't happen to your child? That's what we thought..

Overall survival rates are 60%. The 5 year survival rate for a child diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor is less than 40%.

If a child does survive a brain tumor the long-term effects can be devastating because they are located at the control center for thought, emotion and movement. In many cases, brain tumor survivors live with physical (seizures, headaches, motor deficits, blindness) and/or psychological disabilities.

Early detection of brain tumors is difficult due to symptoms similar to more common childhood illnesses. Symptoms include: persistent vomiting, headaches, seizures, changes in behavior or personality, and cessation of normal activity.

I want YOU to be aware. Brain tumors happen. Children are diagnosed each and every day. Be AWARE of the possibility. Being aware can save a childs life.

A gray ribbon is the symbol for Brain tumor awareness...I'll be wearing Gray for Asher and every child that has ever been diagnosed with a brain tumor and for the ones that lost their fight. Help me by spreading the word, please!

Graduation time!

2011-05-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've seen so many prom pictures posted lately, it's a reminder that graduation time is near. I remember both of my daughters graduations. The feeling of pride watching them walk on the stage to receive their diploma. Actually, I think they should also give out diplomas to the parents. Sometimes it's not so easy to get a child to this last stage of high school. Agreed? I remember the huge sense of relief knowing this part is done. The struggles were worth it. It's a bittersweet moment for sure..realizing your kids have grown up and ready to go their own ways.

I also remember the HUGE cost of everything involved with graduations. Pictures, announcements, cap and gown and everything in between. While I was browsing thru http://www.tinyprints.com/ I noticed that they also offer graduation announcements, invitations and lots more. Cards you can customize to make it a more personal experience than the standard stationary offered by the schools. I wished I had known about this a few years ago.

Tiny Prints provides stylish, modern and unique graduation stationery including graduation announcements, graduation invitations,and thank you cards for teens. When graduation season has come and gone Tiny Prints will still be here to fill all your stationery needs with their exclusive designs from the nation's top designers. You'll find summer party invitations, personalized greeting cards, thank you cards, business cards, and even custom wedding invitations. Come try the easy card personalization, powerful preview engine and top-notch customer service and paper quality for yourself! With Tiny Prints by your side commemorating every holiday and momentous occasion is a cinch!

**Disclaimer: I received a giftcode from tinyprints.com in exchange for participating in this campaign, all opinions are my own, just simply love their cards!**

He makes me smile..

2011-05-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

In my previous post I shared Ashers new obsession. I had only heard about it from my daughter but found out yesterday how obsessed he really is with that hat. Here are some pictures from yesterday and today..

While I was trying to clean the house I heard Asher open up our dishwasher as he usually does several times a day. He loves to push the buttons on the front. When I turned around to tell him to close it I saw this..

20 something years ago I would have gotten onto my children for doing this..after everything he's been thru and as lucky as we are that he's with us today (not to mention being g'mas buddy) there was no way I could get onto him for sitting in my dishwasher lol..I did make him get out of there though, don't need him to go thru a heat drying cycle : ) That boy makes me smile.

Ashers new obsession..

2011-04-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

I've shared with you all the different things Asher gets obsessed with. Random things like the egg carton he carried around everywhere...or the tractor that someone has to pull him on ALL the time. I also mentioned many times that Asher refuses to wear a hat and how difficult it is for us to keep him out of the sun when we spend a good amount of time outdoors.
Imagine how shocked I was when my daughter posted this picture on facebook today. His new obsession...

A hat..of all things. Appearently he REFUSES to take it off...even in the bath tub lol.

Easter with Asher

2011-04-24T19:07:00.001-07:00

We haven't had any rain for months here in Oklahoma. Guess what...we got rain today. The one day we didn't want it to rain we got buckets and buckets of it. We decided not to let it ruin our Easter but it sure would have been a lot nicer without the rain.
Ashers grandpa was hosting a family get together at his house for Easter. We were invited. Yes he is my Ex but we get along, and when we have special occasions such as Easter instead of making our kids try to split time between our families we all try to get together and enjoy it as one family. It makes things a lot easier.

Here are some pictures of Asher from this weekend:

Helping g'pa Clay cut down trees

On a mission to give g'ma kisses

Aren't those the cutest rain boots?

Happy little boy

Asher is one egg hunting lil boy. His g'pa appearently "practiced" with him last weekend..it worked:

He found so many eggs he started putting them in other kids baskets

Another wonderful weekend with our lil Asherman..I also have a video, but it takes forever to upload. I will do that tomorrow!

Having a little boy fun day

2011-04-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days filled with little things that just remind you how precious moments are, moments when Asher is just a little boy having fun. Times when I can just sit back and be greatful for him doing normal things despite him limping and not being able to use his right hand. Moments when I get overwhelmed knowing how close he was to not being here today and thanking God for giving us this gift.
Here is a wrap up of our time with him today in pictures:

Climbing into his new obsession, a pop up tent

Hanging out after his bath

Then the real fun started today...

Falling asleep on the tractor while being pulled

Helping g'pa clean g'mas car

trying to wash his face with the sponge

playing with the sprinkler

and trying to learn how to blow bubbles...

and trying to hide from g'ma since the bathtub was ready

What a fun day we had!!

Celebrating Moms!

2011-04-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

I've always loved being a mother, I love being a grandmother just as much or maybe even more. Its amazing to watch your children grow up, seeing the person they become.

Mother's day has always been a special day for me. Even now that my girls are older they never forget that day. I love the cards I get, the time they take out of their lives to spend with me. My favorite Mother's day presents were always the little handmade crafts they made in school. The handprints, pictures they colored, the cards they created. Memories! My daughter uses pictures of Asher for gifts nowadays, I LOVE them!

A few months ago I introduced you all to a website: Tinyprints.com. I turned Ashers pictures into Christmas cards and fell in love with their selection and ease of creating these cards. Family members just adored them.
Now Tinyprints offers Mothers Day greeting cards for all sorts of moms – mom friends, moms, mothers-in-law… You want to tell her she’s doing a great job as a mom or thank her for being there for you? They have the card for it! Check their selection out at http://www.tinyprints.com/greeting/shop/mothers-day-cards.htm

Great site for your Mother's day cards...check them out!

Tiny Prints provides simple, modern and unique stationery from Fathers Day Cards to personalized greeting cards to thank you cards, business cards, and even custom wedding invitations or photo birth announcements. Offering exclusive designs from the nation’s top designers, easy card personalization, a powerful preview engine and top-notch customer service and paper quality, their designs have been lauded by numerous television networks, publications and celebrities. With Tiny Prints by your side commemorating every holiday and momentous occasion is a cinch! They offer perfect party invitations for every occasion and memorable personalized photo-gifts like notebooks, photo books and calendars to commemorate the event.

**Disclaimer: I received a giftcode from tinyprints.com in exchange for participating in this campaign, all opinions are my own, just simply love their cards!**

What are we gonna do with this boy...

2011-04-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Asher just LOVES to be outside. So do I but I also have my limits. Appearently Asher doesn't have limits. He wants to be out there. Period. The problem we are facing with his little outdoor obsession is that he's not supposed to be out in the sun for an extended period of time, his head is very sensitive from the radiation. Now if we could just explain that to him, that would be great! lol. He won't wear a hat, well he will for about 2 seconds.
We went outside this morning..and yes the tractor was involved again. Not even gonna post a pic because I have SO many of him on the tractor. He discovered my husbands work gloves.

So we ended up putting him to work...that lasted about umm 2 minutes : )

It started warming up and got pretty hot, I wasn't prepared for this warm weather with Asher at all. After his nap we went back outside, I had to put him in a tshirt and shorts (only ones I could find at my house, so please ignore the mismatched fashion statement he's sporting )

And he got hotter and redder by the minute..

I ended up taking him back inside after this picture..he was not happy. He's really getting good at stomping his feet to let me know when he is upset with me : ) Had a good weekend with my little buddy. Hopefully the wind will calm down around here and we can enjoy the outdoors a little more.

Also...I have mentioned many times on this site about the time when Asher was diagnosed with his tumor and how his doctor mentioned that she had 3 patients with birthdays within a week of each other. Brock, Cash and Asher, 3 boys, same doc, same hospital, same age. Sadly, Cash passed away last February. Brock has Leukemia with a survival rate of 90%, but also developed a very nasty fungal infection with a survival rate of 5%. Brock has had a very rough road and it's a miracle he's here today. He was doing GREAT, all that changed 2 days ago. He had problems breathing and his mom was on her way to the ER when he stopped breathing and his heart stopped. He's now in the PICU. He is in urgent needs of prayers.

Brocks website is http://brockrocks.wordpress.com/

Brocks Facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Brock-Rocks/120911744626579

Please show Brock and his family your support and keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Weekend update

2011-04-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

Asher was supergood this weekend. He is so much fun to have around when he feels great, makes my heart smile. First thing he wanted to do when he got to my house was of course to ride his tractor. He might not be able to say it but he makes it clear by taking our hand and pulling us to his favorite toy..

Ever heard the saying don't text and drive? Well here is my advice: Don't try to text your daughter this picture while pulling your grandson on his tractor, he might end up in the grass...

Anyhow...after riding around the yard for an hour or so it was time for dinner and a bath for Asher. Then time to play before bedtime..

Saturday morning started out great. One thing with Asher...when he gets hungry he GETS hungry. He's not very patient waiting for breakfast to get done..

Then we heard a tractor pulling up..we decided to start our very first "real" garden this year and our neighbors were nice enough to offer to break the ground up for us to get us going. Asher was fascinated..

After our neighbor was done Asher had to inspect the work..he even brought his little sandbox toy lol

Back inside he decided he needed to wear glasses..his way

To finish up his visit..yes you guessed it..more riding on the tractor, this time without any incidents

He comes prepared with his own egg carton..why do we spend $$ on toys and they end up fascinated with everything else you have around the house?

We had a great weekend..can't wait till next Friday!

Today-April 2nd

2011-04-01T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today April 2nd would have been my Ex mother in laws birthday. We lost her last year on January 24th.
This post is for her:

Dear Carol,
from the moment I first met you, I knew we would have a special bond. It was my 2nd day in the States, I had just come over from Germany and saying I was lost is an understatement. I stepped out of the pick up, you came and hugged me and welcomed me into your home. I was 18 years old, naive and young, in a foreign land. I left my family behind to marry your son.

You were there for me from the very first day. You showed me how to open a can of biscuits, you were the one yelling at me like I was deaf only to laugh at yourself later realizing that all you needed to do was to slow down in order for me to understand you. I will never forget you taking me to Walmart the next day and telling me "You have $100 to get whatever clothes you want". Back then $100 was a LOT. You showed me off like a trophy to your friends, oh how i hated it but understood how much it meant to you. You went to garage sales and collected items for our first apartment. You were like my second mom and my best friend. You were also the one that helped me get my drivers license, the one that answered her phone almost everyday when I needed advice or just needed someone to talk to. You tried so hard to teach me how to sew..sorry I just never got it. You made my favorite dinner for my birthday EVERY year because you knew you made it just like my mom used to.

You welcomed my dad into your home, knowing how much he meant to me. You put up with his girlfriend and even spent a day driving us around showing them some things that might interest them. You were also the one that listened to me complain about his girlfriend and kept me sane during that time. You loved your granddaughters and remembering you playing with them still brings a smile to my face today. They loved grannys eggs and bacon more than anything and you loved making it for them. I remember the evenings we spent playing games at your house, you were the one that made this foreign land a home for me.

We had a bond that even the divorce couldn't shatter. Yes we had a rough time afterwards but we figured it all out later on and emailed regularly. Then Asher was diagnosed with that ugly brain tumor and I remember Courtney talking to you on the phone that day, crying and then she got really quiet. After the call i asked her if you were coming and she said no. You didn't think you could make it. I saw the disappointment in her face, and I tried to explain to her that the drive from Texas to OKC would be pretty hard on you and that i'm sure you would be there if you could. A few hours later you walked into the hospital and when I asked you why you decided to make that drive you said: "Courtney was silent after I told her that i didn't think i could make it, I just knew she needed me" You spent 2 nights sleeping in a chair before everyone could finally convince you to sleep in a bed. You will never know how much it meant to all of us for you to be there. Your encouraging words, your faith, your hugs were what we all needed. Our last talk...you told me you were worried about Courtney, worried about Asher, I promised you that I would do whatever I could to make sure Asher will get the treatment he'll need. I promised you that nobody would ever harm him or Courtney. I hope I kept my word. You spent the whole week with us at the hospital, you waited with us during the surgery and did not leave till the next day. It was your final gift to us.

A month later and our lifes changed forever. You were diagnosed with brain cancer. We tried to stay positive, even after finding out that your cancer was the ugliest there was. Asher was making great progress, we were confident you could beat it too. I remember hearing that you wanted no treatment, you were fine with what God had chosen for you. You were, but we were not. Only after your pastor talked to you did you decide to fight this horrible disease. I think I know why you didn't want that treatment at first, I am 100% sure that you asked God to take you instead of Asher and you knew Asher would be ok after hearing your fate.

The last time I saw you I brought Asher and the girls with me. It was hard. I had a feeling it would be the last time I get to spend with you, the girls had no idea. We hugged a lot that day, cried a lot. I was told later on when you wouldn't respond very much, the mention of Asher and how great he was doing would put a smile on your face.

We are still broken, the girls still post on your facebook, we can't get ourselves to delete the page. Your number is still stored in my cellphone, I still talk to you and seek your advice when I drive alone in the car and memories of you come to mind. The girls miss you so much, I miss you, everyone that has known you misses you,Asher will not remember you, but we are determined to let him know what an awesome great grandma he had, what a wonderful granny you were to my kids and what an incredible mother in law you were to me. You were simply the BEST!

Happy Birthday Carol, wished you were here..
Courtneys favorite quote: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
I smile thinking of you today but the tears still come...
Love you
Britta

And the winner is..

2011-03-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

The winner of the HERSHEY’S Track & Field Games prize pack is Comment #18 ..Congrats Raven in a blue room!!

Much much better!

2011-03-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure what to expect this weekend. Two possibities: Either Asher still felt bad and would be pretty cranky or he would be feeling better. Judging from his mood this weekend he must be feeling WAY better. I'm happy to report that he was in a really really good mood.

We met my daughter and her boyfriend after work on Friday. Asher did pretty good on the way home considering we still had to go and pick my stepson up, but I still wasn't sure about his mood.

We always go thru our garage door to get in the house, well Asher saw his tractor sitting in the garage and that is as far as we got. He immediately wanted to get on it. The weather was nice and off we went, pulling him on his tractor for the next hour or so. I might have to hide that tractor one of these days LOL.

Once we got done it was time to go inside, he didn't even throw a fit when we did. He loves being outside and usually lets us know that he is not happy to go back in. He ate dinner, then had a bath and went to sleep around 9. Woke up this morning at 7, his normal wake up time around here. Asher did get upset shortly after getting up because my husband went outside without him, but that was the only time! He was back to his normal self, playing and getting into everything. After he ate lunch he was sitting in the living room watching TV. Here is Asher fascinated with Nick Jr:

He sat there for a little while then got up and started stomping his feet. I asked: Are you ready for a nap? He started walking to his room and once he got to his crib he was trying to get the side to go down. Guess there was my answer! He took a nap for almost 2 hours and by the time he woke up it was time to get his stuff together and meet back up to drop him off. I so enjoyed my time with him. He was in a good mood and knowing he feels better just made my day. Love you lil Asherman!

OUCH!!

2011-03-22T17:01:00.000-07:00

Asher had a doctors appointment today. He figured out what was wrong with our lil Asherman. A DOUBLE Ear infection. Ouch. No wonder he was cranky! He got a prescription for antibiotics and ear drops. Hopefully he'll feel better soon and he should be in a better mood in no time!

One of those weekends

2011-03-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

Ever since Asher started Day Care I do not see him much anymore. I miss having him around five days a week and by the time friday comes around I am sooo ready to spend some time with him. He always spends friday nights with us. I treasure this time now more than ever. It's the only time I can just sit back and enjoy him nowadays.

I was off Friday and my husband ended up meeting my daughter to bring Asher to our house. He was not a happy boy..we figured he was hungry. He did eat as soon as he got here but just wasn't himself. He has his good and bad days, friday definitely wasn't his best. After playing in the bathtub for a good while, getting his PJs on it was bedtime. He went to sleep around 9.

He usually wakes up around 6:45 when he spends the night here and I always prepare to get up early Saturday by going to bed earlier than usual Friday night. He woke up at 5:30. Not many people I wake up for that early on a Saturday, he's lucky he's one of the very few lol. He drank his medicine and as he usually does when he's hungry proceeded to pull his highchair out of the kitchen corner, when he did the tray came off and hit him on his right foot, right above the big toe. Lots of crying, lots of tears. I felt so bad. He ended up with a nice purple bruise on his already bad foot. Way to go grandma! He also coughed. A LOT. A very deep cough.

Saturday started out cool. I had hoped to take him to the zoo, but the weather wasn't cooperating. Figures. After it started warming up we took him outside. He LOVES being outside but even then he was just not himself. The only time he wasn't crying was when we put him on his little tikes tractor and pulled him around the yard.

Yes that's a rope attached to the tractor, pushing that thing is a major back killer!

Everytime we stopped and said we were done he would stand next to his tractor and cry. My hubby and I alternated and I have no idea how many times we went around the yard, we live on 2.5 acres that's a lot of pulling!! Asher just wasn't himself this weekend and I am sure he's not feeling well. My daughter agrees and will take him to the doctor tomorrow to have him checked out. We are ready to see a smile back on his face : ) We will have a better time next weekend, and maybe just maybe the weather will cooperate so I can take him to the zoo, finally.

The HERSHEY®’S Track & Field Games Giveaway!

2011-03-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

Physical activity is important at any age, but by encouraging your children to be active, you can help them gain an appreciation for a healthy lifestyle at a young age.

Since 1978, The HERSHEY®’S Track & Field Games has helped more than 10 million children get active and learn valuable lessons such as sportsmanship and hard work. Now in its 34th year, HERSHEY’S Track & Field Games hosts thousands of boys and girls, ages 9 to 14, in nearly 4,000 North American communities. They will compete this spring and summer in track and field events ranging from the standing long jump and softball throw to a variety of running and relay races – and all at no cost of entry. All you need is a pair of shoes.

To program culminates each year with the HERSHEY’S Track & Field Games North American Final Meet in Hershey, Pa. Held each year in August, the North American Final Meet hosts 450 outstanding young participants in a fun and exciting, all-expenses paid weekend trip to Hershey. During the weekend, participants tour the world’s largest chocolate factory and visit Hersheypark amusement park, among other exciting activities.

Nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis and Olympic decathlon legend Rafer Johnson will again return as HERSHEY’s Track & Field Games ambassadors in 2011.

To further encourage physical activity among kids and families, Hershey is teaming up with the Nike Reuse-A-Shoe program to collect old, worn-out athletic shoes to be recycled into Nike Grind, a material used in creating athletic and playground surfaces, as well as select Nike products. Program participants will be invited to bring used athletic shoes to state and provincial meets, which will then be recycled into Nike Grind. A HERSHEY’s Track & Field Games playground will be awarded to a participating local community as part of the program’s work with Nike’s Reuse-A-Shoe program. Since its inception in the early 1990’s, Nike’s Reuse-A-Shoe program has recycled more than 25 million pairs of athletic shoes into Nike Grind.

So lace up your children’s favorite pair of sneakers and get ready to cheer them on at the finish line! To learn more about HERSHEY’S Track & Field Games, and to find a local event in your area, please visit Hershey's Track and Field.

And on to the giveaway! One of my readers will win this prize pack!!

The HERSHEY’S Track & Field Games prize pack includes a drawstring backpack, visor, water bottle and rubber band shoelace stoppers.

Mandatory Entry: Comment and tell me what activity do you like to do with your kids?

Additional Entries (leave a comment for each entry, and make sure I have a way to contact you):

Follow @aprayerforasher on Twitter (2 entries)

Follow @frugaloma on Twitter (2 entries)

"Like" A prayer for Asher on Facebook (2 entries)

Subscribe via email to this blog (2 entries)

Grab Ashers button and add it to your blog, leave your blog link in your comment (3 entries, leave 3 separate comments)

Tweet about this giveaway and include @aprayerforasher in your tweet (1 entry for each tweet, unlimited entries)
Use this tweet if you like:

Win a Hershey's Track & Field Games prize pack from @aprayerforasher http://bit.ly/eOCj5Z

Giveaway ends March 30th at midnight. A winner will be chosen via random.org from the comments and will be notified via email. The winner has 48 hours to claim their prize after being notified. Good luck!

Disclosure: The Hershey Company provided me one prize pack to keep and one to give away, as part of the MyBlogSpark program

Doing things HIS way..

2011-03-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Asher spent Friday night with us as he usually does. I almost called it off because i wasn't feeling too great, but since that is now our only time during the week I was not willing to miss out on my Asher time.

Saturday morning started out interesting. After eating breakfast he went to his room as I was picking up in the living room. We have his room set up that he can't get hurt so when he was unusually quiet I wasn't too worried at first. He walks out of his room and in the dim hallway I could see something was different but couldn't put my finger on it. Till I turned the light on. OH MY LORD. I don't want to gross anyone out, so let me just say our little picasso did some face painting with something that should have stayed in his diaper. Oh yes he did. I think I yelled out OH CRAP, honestly don't remember..between trying to chase him to get him stripped down and half way cleaned up and trying to get the bathwater ready I was a little frazzled.

After a complete scrubdown and soaking in the bath tub we played a little bit and then it was time for his nap. He slept for 2 1/2 hours! I kept checking on him, he never sleeps that long. After his nap we went outside here are some pictures...

Then he got tired of dragging his wagon everywhere and I got his Powerwheel out of the garage. Some of you that have followed Asher since the beginning might remember that I got him this Powerwheel for Christmas of 2009. It was 3 months after his surgery and I was worried that he won't be able to ride it because the switch to make it go is on the right side and well the surgery/tumor etc effected his right side. He can't push the button with his right hand. Saturday I learned how well he compensates for not being able to use that right hand. Watch this video:

At first he was sitting normally on it and pushed the button with his left hand a few times..then he decided it was just easier for him to reach the "go" button with his left hand if he sat sideways lol..he keeps us entertained : )

Asher is the new Picasso!

2011-03-10T18:03:00.000-08:00

Asher has been going to daycare for over a week now. I have to admit that he absolutely loves it from the reports that I'm getting from my daughter and her boyfriend. I was told that he usually cries in the morning when he is put in the carseat, once they drive up to the daycare he starts looking around. When he gets checked in he wiggles to get down from whomever is holding him, then starts walking to his room and announces his presence with LOTS of jabbering and arm waving. Yep that's Asher alright : )

Yesterday my daughter posted a picture of Ashers first daycare project on Facebook. I just think it's adorable so I stole it to post on here. HEH!

Here you go..our Picasso in the making:

I can't wait to sneak in to the daycare to get some pictures of him with the other kids. Hopefully soon!

"Pretty Neat" Book Review and Giveaway plus a chance to win a $200 Giftcard!

2011-03-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

When my girls were little I always dreamt of having the "perfect" home. You know...nice and neat like the pictures in the magazines. WELL, that never happened. Now that my girls are older and grandkids came along I still have the same dream. Oh you can walk in my house and it will be clean, and picked up. I even hear comments such as "Your house is always so tidy". Heh..I got them all fooled.

I'm really good at hiding the clutter. I'm a PRO when it comes to fooling my guests. My secret is out. Even though visitors don't see what is hidden, I know where my messes are. It bugs me. Honestly I am not sure where to begin organizing that hidden clutter. Till now. No more guilt!

I was offered to review the book Pretty Neat: The Buttoned Up Way to Get Organized and Let Go of Perfection and after reading the book I learned it's ok not to be perfect. It's ok not to have the perfect spot for everything, even the "catch all drawer" is ok, as long as I have a plan. The book made me realize that I am organized and manage certain things just fine, instead of reading about perfect organization tricks that leave me feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. I do not have to tackle a whole room it's perfectly fine to start on one side, or one closet, even one drawer!

Pretty Neat: The Buttoned Up Way to Get Organized and Let Go of Perfection teaches you to work at your pace, and not get frustrated by taking on too much. This has always been a problem of mine, wanting to do it all at once and refusing to see the progress i've already made.

Here is the best part! One of my readers will win a copy of Pretty Neat: The Buttoned Up Way to Get Organized and Let Go of Perfection. In addition, one winner will be chosen at random from across all blogs participating in this campaign to receive a $200 gift card (same as cash such as Visa or AmEx) plus a selection of Buttoned Up products (ARV: $50) to be used towards their own reasonable organizational goals. How cool is that?

Mandatory Entry: Comment and tell me what area in or around your home can use some organization?

Additional Entries (leave a comment for each entry, and make sure I have a way to contact you):

Follow @aprayerforasher on Twitter (1 entry)

"Like" A prayer for Asher on Facebook (2 entries)

Subscribe via email to this blog (1 entry)

Grab Ashers button and add it to your blog, leave your blog link in your comment (2 entries, leave 2 separate comments)

Tweet about this giveaway and include @aprayerforasher in your tweet (1 entry for each tweet, unlimited entries)

Use this tweet if you like:

Win "Pretty Neat" from @aprayerforasher and a chance to win a $200 Giftcard! http://bit.ly/hD4a7f

Giveaway ends March 18th at midnight. A winner will be chosen via random.org from the comments and will be notified via email. The winner has 48 hours to claim their prize after being notified. Good luck!

Disclosure: I received a copy of "Pretty Neat: The Buttoned Up Way to Get Organized and Let Go of Perfection" for this review, I am also being entered in a random drawing for a giftcard and Buttoned Up products. All opinions are my own.

Ashers mommy is on vacation

2011-03-04T14:26:00.000-08:00

You all have seen me post about little Gracie. Gracie is 7yrs old and was a patient at MPRI at Indiana when Asher was there. Gracies tumor is growing again and it was determined that they have tried all they can. You can read about Gracie here http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/graceburlage

A couple of pictures that I found of Gracie and Asher at Jills house in Indiana:

Ashers mommy left yesterday to visit Gracie and her family in Minnesota. I hope she will enjoy her visit, even though it will be the last time she gets to see Grace. I can't imagine what is going thru her mind while she is there. One thing that is really hard to deal with is the tremendous feeling of guilt. We are so thrilled how Asher is doing but then you meet families that have lost their child to cancer, you hear of/see families that just heard the words "relapse" or "tumor is growing", and you keep your joy of Ashers progress to a minimum to respect their feelings. It's just sad. We can feel their pain and wished we could do something for them to be where we are now. Cancer just sucks.

My daughter will be back Sunday evening, in the meantime her boyfriend and I are keeping an eye on Asher. My daughters boyfriend has done a super job with Asher and he knows if he needs me I'm only a call away (he's probably tired of me by now for constantly texting him asking if Asher is fine). Asher will be here early this evening till tomorrow evening. I suggested for Asher not to go. It's hard on him and even harder on his mommy, dragging him thru airports and changing flights. I know it means a lot to Gracies mom Dawn for my daughter to make this trip and I also know my daughter needed to go. Even though the trip is for sad reasons I do hope that all involved will enjoy the visit. Keep Gracie in your prayers please.

Announcing the winner..

2011-03-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

of the Pillsbury 45th Bakeoff Sweepstakes and giveaway!
Random.org picked comment # 21

Congratulations Sarafan2! I sent you an email. You have 48 hours to claim your prize!

Daycare update..

2011-03-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

Well...it was an interesting day yesterday. My daughter dropped Asher off at the daycare a little early so she could discuss everything with his room teacher and the director of the daycare. The director wasn't in and my daughter was trying to explain Ashers medicine to the teacher, etc. The teacher told her she would tell the director. She had a feeling that the teacher wasn't paying much attention and of course as luck would have it, it was naptime so Asher wasn't allowed into the room with the kids and had to be in a room by himself (with 4 other day care workers) till the kids naptime was over.
When my daughter called me the first thing she said was...I don't think he'll be there long. I heard sniffles, but tried to ignore it as much as I could and blame her allergies. (Courtney if you read this..I was pretty sure i knew why I heard sniffles : ) ) Yes my first instinct was to take off work and grab him myself but I knew that wasn't the best thing to do. I suggested for my daughter to call after a little while to talk to the director and let him know all the concerns she was voicing to me.

At 4:20 I texted her boyfriend and asked if Asher did ok. Her boyfriend gets off at 4 and I was pretty sure he had just picked him up. He replied and said: yes ma'am he had a blast. Not really what I expected to hear. I'm sure they forgot to tell him that Asher was sitting in the corner crying for his grandma, right? SIGH. Just kidding. I am glad he had a blast of course. My biggest concern with him being in daycare was that the workers there would punish him for things he doesn't understand. For example if they tell all the kids to sit down. I had this image in my head with Asher in time out all day long for not doing what he was told because they didn't understand that HE doesn't understand. Hope that makes sense. Anyhow...

Today my daughter called me after she dropped him off and told me that she talked to the director. She was surprised to hear that the teacher DID tell him about the medicine, she didn't expect that. She explained to him also how Ashers cortizone medicine needs to be given if he is under stress. What was kind of funny...the director told her that Asher had gotten upset over something and wanted to know if he needed to give him his medicine when that happens. : ) No. She told him stress as in being sick, fever, vomitting etc. She also talked to the teacher a little more in detail what Asher had been thru. That yes he is allowed to go outside, go to the gym etc just like all the other kids. She did feel a lot better leaving him there today. I told her that this whole thing is way harder on us than it is on Asher.

Appearently Asher refused to take a nap at daycare today, when my daughters boyfriend picked him up he passed out as soon as he got in the car seat. Guess playing all day having fun is hard work lol, sure miss my lil Asherman : (

Oh boy..I thought scanxiety was bad, this is even worse!

2011-02-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

These last 18 months have been nerve wrecking. Really really nerve wrecking. You are constantly on an emotional roller coaster and when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel something comes up and you are back on that little car going thru loops.

We have been beyond blessed with Ashers developments since that dreadful day October 5th of 2009. Clean MRI scans and he's been growing like a weed. Overall we've been lucky. Yes, it's been hard and there were times I was so mad at the whole world I just wanted to scream WHY HIM? Asher never signed up to have these cards dealt to him, neither have we.

I made a promise to my EX mother in law after Ashers surgery that I will do whatever I can to help my daughter give Asher the best chance to beat this beast called cancer, that I will make sure both of them will be safe. Three months later my beloved ex mother in law passed away. It's been bugging me ever since. I talk to her when I am alone in the car, begging her to give me a sign that we've done the right things, have I kept my word, have we done enough, will he be ok and I ask her to watch over our little Asherman.

Tomorrow will be Ashers first day in daycare. Yes it's a milestone for him, yes it will be good for him, but my god i am so nervous I could literally barf. Scanxiety is nothing compared to DAYCARE anxiety.

I will be a nervous wreck till I get an update how he did, and I know tomorrow morning on my way to work I will be sitting in the car and say once again: Please Carol watch over him and keep him safe today.
Love you lil Asherbug, hope you will enjoy playing with the other kids and if one of them is mean to you...g'ma will loose it : )

Update on Ashers doc appointment today

2011-02-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

Well we got to the clinic at about 12:45 and were in the first room 5 minutes later. At this point Asher started getting upset. Crying, kicking, wanting to get out of there. They took his weight, height and blood pressure (got it on the 2nd try) then we walked the hallway to the actual exam room.Once we got inside the room Asher decided this wasn't where he wanted to be...followed by a major fit. MAJOR!

His oncologist was the first one to come in. She put him in time out lol. So we tried to discuss him while he's screaming as loud as he can. It was interesting.

Oncologist update: Ashers MRI only shows post OP changes that are completely normal. No regrowth of tumor. Next MRI will be in 4 months instead of 3 months. We have a follow up appointment on June 6th scheduled in Indiana, but we also found out that Ashers doctor there is leaving the clinic before June. His oncologist will talk to MPRI in Bloomington and will see if she can just send her notes and updates, his scans etc for them to review instead of us making the trip since none of the doctors are at the proton center anymore that dealt with Ashers treatment. She also said if they insist that a radiation oncologist looks at his scans she will see if Dr. Keole from Procure in OKC can do that to save us the trip. Dr. McNall also stated that his eyes seem to follow her fine and seem to straighten out some. She also gave my daughter a note that it is ok for Asher to receive his immunizations and get up to date on those. No doctor will immunize him without a written consent of his oncologist.

Endocrinologist: His endorcrinologist said he seems to be doing well. She wanted to check his hormone levels so they took blood from Asher to do that. She said he is growing fine, but is showing an increase in weight gain so she is decreasing one of his medications. People that take the medication long term often show increased weight gain so she's trying to keep it balanced and always keep him on the lowest dose possible. He usually takes 1/2 tablet in the morning and evening and will now start taking 1/2 in the morning and 1/4 in the evening. She also wants to take an x-ray of his left arm. It will show her how much growing he has left. If i understood it right. We did not do that today, i'm sure she will schedule an appointment with radiology for that.

Neurosurgeon: Dr Gross said he looks fine to her, also thinks she is seeing some improvement of his right leg. She said it looks like he's picking it up more and not dragging it as much as he used to.

Psychologist: We had a long talk with the psychologist about some lashing out that Asher been doing. He pretty well thinks that it's part to blame for his age and part because of him not being able to communicate. He said that a lot of children with communication problems, such as Asher has ,have a tendency to develop behavior problems because they can not communicate their frustration or what they want. He gave us some tips on how to manage and discipline Asher. He also wants him to do a comprehensive development test to see how he scores in his age group. Asher will be put on the list for this test and will probably do that around june or july.

That's it..i think. If i can think of anything else i will update again : ) Thanks for all the prayers, we appreciate them so much.

Some big changes for Asher

2011-02-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

Well. I was sitting here thinking about Ashers doctors appointment on Monday and felt the need to update all of you about some big changes for Asher coming up.

First of all..Asher and his mommy are moving. They will move further away from me. I'm still trying to get used to that idea, but it's a good thing. It's not THAT far from me, but still. At the end of February they will be moving out of their apartment that has been home for them for the last 2 years. My daughter is trying to transfer to the new town they will be moving to, and to say it's been difficult is an understatement.

Asher will start daycare on March 1st. This will be interesting. It also means I won't be watching him after work anymore and THAT is hard for me to get used to. Yes it will make my life easier, but that doesn't mean I will like it. As much work as it is sometimes I do enjoy every minute I have with my little buddy. I do think daycare will be good for him and will help him in his development. It's one step closer to being a normal child again and getting to socialize with other children. I just hope he will enjoy it.

We found a cheap flight for my daughter and she will be visiting little Gracie beginning of March for a few days. Gracies tumor is growing again and her mom recently met with hospice. It will be a hard trip for my daughter but I understand why she feels the need to see Gracie one more time. I've posted Gracies caringbridge site a couple of times in my last posts. Please keep them in your prayers.

That's it for tonight. I will update in a couple of days about his doctors appointment on Monday. Lots of things that need to be discussed. I will be taking the afternoon off to go with Asher and my daughter to the appointment. Please pray for good news and continued healing. We appreciate each and everyone of you that takes the time to read about Asher. You all are such a blessing.

Pillsbury 45th Bakeoff Sweepstakes and Giveaway

2011-02-17T20:16:00.000-08:00

Pillsbury is looking for original recipes that taste and look delicious, are easy to prepare and that families across America will love to eat. Consumers can submit recipes in one of four recipe categories:

The Breakfast & Brunches category includes casual brunch or weekend family breakfast ideas. For example, sweet rolls, pull-aparts, pastries, breakfast breads, egg dishes or breakfast sandwiches.

In the Entertaining Appetizers category, entrants can submit appetizers and snacks to serve at casual gatherings with family and friends or for holiday entertaining. For example, bite size appetizers, tartlets, pinwheels, puffs, bruschetta or focaccia.

The Dinner Made Easy™ category encourages home cooks to create easy-to-prepare main dishes that will delight your family. For example, pizzas, calzones, sandwiches, foldovers, casseroles, chilis, soups or savory pies.

Quick and easy treats for anytime celebrations can be entered into the Sweet Treats category. For example, cookies, pies, tarts, brownies or bars.

Entries are being accepted online between now and April 18, 2011, at www.bakeoff.com. One hundred lucky finalists will compete for a chance at the grand prize during the contest finals, which take place March 25-27, 2012 at the Peabody Orlando Hotel in Florida. You’ll also find contest details, including eligible products, prizes and the official rules, on the web site.

The recipes will be judged for 1) taste, 2) appearance, 3) creativity and 4) consumer appeal. All entries must meet the requirements of the recipe category and appropriately use two of the eligible products in at least the quantity specified.

Sue Compton of Delanco, N.J. was named the grand prize winner of the 44th Pillsbury Bake-Off® Contest in 2010 for her original Mini Ice Cream Cookie Cups recipe. At the 43rd Pillsbury Bake-Off® Contest in 2008, Carolyn Gurtz walked away with the million-dollar grand prize for her Double-Delight Peanut Butter Cookies. At the 2006 competition, the 42nd Contest, Anna Ginsberg, a stay-at-home mom who you might know from her blog, Cookie Madness, earned the $1 million prize for her Baked Chicken and Spinach Stuffing.

And now to the giveaway:
One US reader will receive a Pillsbury Bake-Off® gift pack that includes a Pillsbury Bake-Off® apron, recipe book, and pen. I received one also and the recipes in the book look amazing!

TO ENTER: TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS,WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE Pillsbury Bake-Off® RECIPE? (Mandatory Entry, no others will count if this hasn't been done first)
Additional entries (leave a comment for each entry):

Follow AprayerforAsher on Twitter (1 entry)

Follow Pillsbury on Twitter (1 entry)

Subscribe via email to this blog (1 entry)

Follow Ashers blog via Google Friend Connect (2 entries, leave 2 separate comments)

"Like" A prayer for Asher on Facebook (2 entries, leave 2 separate comments)

Grab Ashers button and add it to your blog, leave your blog link in your comment (2 entries, leave 2 separate comments)

Tweet about this giveaway and include @aprayerforasher and @Pillsbury in your tweet (1 entry for each tweet, unlimited entries)
Use this tweet if you like:

Win a Pillsbury Prizepack from @aprayerforasher and @Pillsbury http://bit.ly/hPMOOP

Giveaway ends March 3rd at midnight. A winner will be chosen via random.org from the comments. Winner will be notified via email and has 48 hours to claim their prize. Good luck!

Disclosure: I received the same prize pack to do this giveaway. The prize pack, information and giveaway were provided by Pillsbury through MyBlogSpark. All opinions are my own.

Ashers MRI Results

2011-02-16T20:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not upating sooner. I wasn't sure how to explain Ashers MRI results and really didn't want to say too much yet, but my daughter updated his caringbridge site today so I figured it's ok to post it here now.
A nurse called my daughter on Monday and said there was no sign of the tumor, BUT they did see something. What...we don't know. It could be scar tissue. She mentioned that it has been there since his tumor was removed. This is the first time we've heard this. My daughter has never talked to this nurse before and I'm hoping she won't have to talk to her again. She pretty well left my daughter confused. We do know if the doctor was worried about whatever it is that's showing up she would have called herself. So that puts us at ease..a little. Ashers appointment with his doctor is Monday and we will let her explain to us exactly what it is that is showing up on the scan and she can show us the image at the clinic. We love his doctor and we can ask any questions and she takes the time to make sure we understand what she is telling us. We have several things to discuss with her so i'll be taking the afternoon off to go with them. So i'm asking all of you to please pray that this is nothing to be concerned about. Please pray that his healing continues.

Week ahead, of course a busy one again

2011-02-13T15:55:00.000-08:00

We are still waiting to hear back from the clinic about Ashers MRI results. I'm not sure why it's different this time, but I'm in a little bit of a panic. I'm guessing it stems from the many bad news we've learned these past couple of weeks of people we know and people whos journey we follow online. It's heartbreaking to say the least and with each bad news you hear you sit back and worry more. Tomorrow can't come quick enough, let's just put it that way. We should know tomorrow.

Asher has a hearing test tomorrow. He failed the last one they took. I know he can hear, how well we don't know but I know he can. I think he failed the last time because he was too cranky to pay attention to much of anything. We hope tomorrow will be better.

Tuesday he has physical therapy at childrens hospital.

Wednesday he was supposed to have physical and speech therapy with SoonerStart but the doctor that ordered the brace set an appointment for a follow up to make sure the brace doesn't rub. So SoonerStart therapy will have to be rescheduled.

February 21st..comprehensive appointment at the oncologist, there will be about 5 doctors there that are involved in his care.

June 6th Follow up appointment in Indiana. We are getting ready for another battle to get this approved. It always turns into a battle. We are hoping his next MRI will be right before this appointment so he will not have to do another one in Indiana. We'll talk to his oncologist about it when we see her on Feb 21st.

That's about it for now. I will post tomorrow asap when we hear his results of the MRI. Thanks for all the prayers and thinking of us. Scanxiety is horrible.

Asher in the snow

2011-02-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

Asher did have his MRI on wednesday. I was sure they wouldn't do it because of the stomach bug he had on Tuesday and lots of schools and business were closed because of the snow. I was so sure they wouldn't do his MRI, I didn't set my alarm. Ashers grandpa drove them to Childrens hospital and of course they went ahead and did the scan. I wasn't there and felt horrible about it. We are still waiting on the results. My daughter called the Jimmy Everest Clinic today and a nurse is supposed to call her back to let her know if they have gotten the results..so far we haven't heard back from them.
Ashers mommy got the stomach bug, my other daughter got it too..and of course I ended up with it yesterday. I'm feeling much better this afternoon and decided to take Asher out for a little while. He LOVES being outside. Here are some pictures from this afternoon:

Ashers brace and a trip to the ER

2011-02-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

Well...it's been one of those days. Asher got his brace today, I had planned to take pictures of it this evening to post on here BUT that didn't happen. I will explain in a minute...
Here is one picture that my daughter sent me to my phone this morning:

It's camo, and he also received a pair of Hatchbacks to go with the brace. Very greatful, was wondering what shoes he will be able to wear till we could get him a pair. I'm sure if you never had to deal with a brace you don't know what Hatchbacks are, only reason I know about these shoes is because I did some research as soon as his brace was ordered. Here is a link to their website..really neat special needs shoes http://www.hatchbacksfootwear.com/index.htm . Let me just say when I talked to my daughter after Asher got his brace I heard him screaming the whole time..yes he was not happy to wear this brace. Hopefully he will get used to it pretty soon.
She sent me the pic above and I thought well I need to take pictures later to better show the brace since I was supposed to watch him tonight. Obviously that didn't happen.
Reason why: Ashers mommy went to work, her sister (my youngest daughter) was watching Asher when I received a call from my daughter saying Asher seemed to be sick. She said he was vomitting and had diarrhea and he was acting like he was hurting..wasn't playing etc. First think that came to my mind was...DON'T PANIC, followed by a lot of flashbacks from September of 2009..I suggested for my daughter to give him some ibuprofen and see if that would help him. About 30 minutes later I received another call from her saying his eyes were rolling back, he was lethargic etc. OK..time to panic. I told her I would come and get them both and we would take him to the ER..then I realized my husband had our car keys in his pocket and of course our company (we work at the same company) had to send him out of town for a few hours and i had no vehicle to get them. Wonderful!. yikes...I told my boss i had to leave and that I needed a ride to childrens hospital. My coworker volunteered to take me..it's just 5 min from my work thank god. I called my daughter back and told her she needed to drive her car to the hospital...to stay calm, not panic, just load him in his carseat and go. Then I called his mommy at work and told her I would be with Asher at the ER and she would probably need to call them to give permission for medical treatment. I do have a note from her giving me permission to take him to the hospital or doctor..but of course it was sitting nicely in a drawer at home. Even though I tried to be calm and not make her panic...well that didn't work, she immediately said she would be heading to the ER to meet us.
Ashers mommys boyfriend also showed up right before Asher was taken to the back. Let me just say what a great guy he is...he held Asher the whole time in the room, got puked on and never blinked an eye. He's been a blessing to have around and loves Asher like his own.
To make a long story short...Asher has a stomach virus. They gave my daughter a prescription for the nausea and they are trippling his hydrocortizone meds. (This is for stress, when a person gets sick the body stresses and since Ashers pituitary gland was most likely wiped out during radiation he takes cortizone pills everyday, when he gets sick he has to take 3 times the amount)
At this point we do not know if they will do his MRI tomorrow. I doubt it but the nurse at the ER told my daughter to go to the appointment and the anesthesiologist will make that decision. Usually they will not do anesthesia when someone has been vomitting. For obvious reasons. We are also under a winter storm warning so there is a double whammy. We will know more tomorrow...

It's that time...

2011-02-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

My daughter will be busy this week. Asher is getting his brace on Tuesday. We are a little worried how he will do with the brace, specially in the beginning, but it is necessary. Unfortunately.
Wednesday is his appointment for his 3 month MRI. Please remind me not to look at updates on Caringbridge, it's a constant reminder how one scan can turn things around. These past 2-3 weeks i've read and heard about several people who's scan shows increased tumor size. Scanxiety is getting worse and worse with each update I read.
I'm tired of reading the stories, I'm tired of seeing adults and children suffer from cancer. I wished we had never been thrown into a life that deals with statistics and death on an everyday level. It's heartbreaking. You just want to hide and pretend this doesn't happen. It DOES happen. Being aware of child hood cancer is hard, maybe that's why many pretend it doesn't exist? Is this why we don't hear the stories of each and every child? The difference between being aware and not being aware is simple..you can't hide from the facts anymore. We can't pretend this is not going on in each and every hospital in the United States, actually all over the world. Does it break your heart? Absolutely, but I can tell you that I've never known anyone as brave as these children. Going thru treatments, painful tests, after effects and still have a smile on their faces. Each and everyone of them are Heroes.
Thursday Asher has physical therapy at the childrens hospital. He usually has physical and speech therapy also in addition to the one at the hospital, but the therapist will most likely be at the appointment to get his brace this week.
February 21st is Ashers comprehensive appointment at the hospital. This will include his oncologist, neurologist, neuro surgeon, psychologist, endocrinologist. I think they will schedule some more testing for his hormones since it's been a while, but we will see. We will also have to talk to his oncologist about his next MRI and see when she will be scheduling his next scan. Asher is due for a follow up visit in Indiana and we are trying to schedule it after his next scan so he doesn't have to do another one in Indiana. Dr. Chang always likes to see a recent scan. He does get all his MRI scans sent from the hospital here but if one hasn't been done recently when we go see him he will order another scan there. We are hoping to avoid that by going to Indiana right after Ashers next scheduled MRI. My daughter can get CDs of the scan for him to evaluate when we go. Hopefully we can do the trip to Indiana around June and maybe for once we don't run into bad weather.
My daughter asked me to look for flights for her to Minnesota. She will try to visit Gracie and her mommy. I wrote about Gracie a couple of posts back. You can read her story here http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/graceburlage/ . Gracies mom wanted to take Grace to the ocean in Texas and my daughter was hoping to meet them on their way down, but when she talked to Dawn (Gracies mom) last time she was told that they won't be able to make it since Gracie is already starting to feel sick.
Please keep Gracie and her family in your prayers, they are facing a very difficult time and please say a little prayer for Asher for another clear scan.

Pictures from today

2011-02-04T20:28:00.000-08:00

Some of these I took with my phone so the quality isn't the greatest.

Watching Yo Gabba Gabba

Getting comfy in his chair (see how his toys are all nice and tidy?)

5 Minutes later ..

melts my heart

It's been a boring week

2011-02-03T20:38:00.000-08:00

My daughter is off on Sundays and Mondays and this week we were hit by that major snow storm on Monday evening that's been going around the country. The storm meant my daughter hasn't been able to get to work, my company closed for two days and no Asher at my house. Last time i saw Asher was Saturday. I miss my little Asherman. It's been pretty boring around here. I think when he's here he just keeps me so busy that I'm always running around and while I'm running I get lots of other things done. When he's not here i'm kind of lost.

Actually this week I was so bored I started a new blog. Yes, i'm insane. I've been busy posting on my new blog since I had nothing to update here. My new blog is http://www.frugaloma.com/ . Check it out! I also went ahead and got Ashers website its own domain name. Instead of typing in aprayerforasher.blogspot.com you can now simply go to aprayerforasher.com. It's just easier, but you can still use both ways to get here.

Asher should be here tomorrow and spend the night with us as he usually does on Fridays. I can't wait. I need some Asher kisses, i've been missing those sweet little kisses and maybe just maybe I can get a few new pictures of him that don't end up being photos of the back of his head : )

Ashers weekend

2011-01-29T23:22:00.000-08:00

Ashers mommy couldn't get an appointment for the brace on Monday but they are scheduled to pick it up on February 8th. One day before he has his MRI. Talk about scanxiety setting in hard and heavy. We are optimistic it will be another clear scan.

Asher has been a character this weekend. He's so funny. His facial expressions, his jabbering..his smiles and giggles is so much fun to watch and hear. Don't think he's always a happy going child. Boy when he gets mad, he gets MAD.

He also teaches me that I have no clue. Like today, he woke up, ate breakfast. It was beautiful out today, 76 degrees, I got him dressed and we went outside. Here was my plan, let him walk and play outside till lunch, let him eat lunch, then naptime. YEAH RIGHT! What was I thinking? He walked, he played, we came in at noon, he ate lunch and silly ole me thought NAPTIME. I even stated to my husband, oh he's gonna be so tired i bet he'll have a good nap. 30 minutes after I put him to bed he was back up. HUH?? And he was still up when I met his mommy at 4pm. That little booger!

I also learned how to get him to sit still for more than 5 minutes. Want to know how? Sit on the floor with a bag of peanut animal cookies..it'll keep him occupied for about 30 minutes digging in the bag and pigging out.
Oh how i love that little boy.

The Wait is over..

2011-01-27T20:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week for me. A very very long week. Shorthanded at work. On monday, 4 people were out. Usually we are 6 people. That tells you what kind of week i've been having. The rest of the week 2 people have been out and we got slammed with work. Figures.
I had Asher Tuesday, Wednesday, today after getting off work and he'll be here tomorrow and spend the night as he always does. On Saturday afternoon he'll go home with his mommy and i will have a day off. This week wore me out. I love watching Asher and wouldn't trade it for anything, but a horrible week at work just left me physically exhausted. I can't wait to have my little buddy here tomorrow, not having to leave at 10pm to meet his mommy and just enjoy my time with him.

When I met my daughter tonight for her to take Asher home she told me that the clinic called her while she was at work and said that Ashers AFO brace came in. YESSSS! The wait is over. Finally. She will call them tomorrow and hopefully get an appointment monday to pick it up. We still have to figure out what shoes he'll be able to wear once they get the brace but that shouldn't take long. I hope.

We don't know how long he'll have to wear a brace but the sooner we can get him in one the sooner we can get him out of one. As young as he is we are very hopeful that it won't take long for his foot to straighten up. He will slowly start using the brace, and increasing the time so he will not get too frustrated or hurt himself.
I will let you all know when I know more. I'm so happy he's finally moving to the next step : )

Announcing the winner of the Yoplait Light Prize Pack!

2011-01-24T16:37:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to comment #:

19! Mandie! You have 48 hours to claim your prize, Congratulations!

Update on Asher and new improvements

2011-01-22T20:17:00.000-08:00

Asher was tested a couple of months ago where he is compared to his age group. He scored at about 50% below his age group. Instead of letting this disappoint us, we've been focusing on helping him learn. Everything we do, hand to him is followed by saying something like, Red monkey, 2 horses, do you want to EAT (including signing the word Eat). You get the point.

He has not said any words as of yet, but he is starting to sound different, like he's trying to form words but is still blabbering.
This week he's done some new things and seems to catch on quicker. One of my favorite things he's doing now is giving kisses. I can't get enough of his slobbery kisses! It's too cute. He seems to concentrate so hard on making sure his lips will go on the other persons lips. It's just simply adorable. And yes when he's here I say this a lot: Give me a kiss Asher. Who can blame me?

Another new thing he's done is sticking everything in his pocket. He was wearing a hoodie yesterday and so far i've found crayons, one rock, one walmart receipt, one cookie and one block in his pocket. I'll have to start doing a strip search when he leaves my house.

He spent last night at our house as he does every Friday night and when my daughter picked him up today I walked outside with them to tell them bye. She buckled him in his car seat and I waved at him and said "bye bye asher buddy, g'ma loves you" and he WAVED BACK! First time he's ever waved. My daughter missed it at first, I was so excited I told her to watch him and waved at him again and he waved back!

He's really starting to catch on and it's so encouraging to see him do these little things. One day at a time. One improvement at a time. I'm so proud of you Asher. G'ma loves you bunches and bunches.

Prayer request

2011-01-17T17:24:00.000-08:00

When I have some quiet time during the day I go thru the Caringbridge pages of people we've met since Ashers diagnosis and people i've heard about online. Today I was checking their sites again and found a new update on 7yr old Gracie (Grace Burlage). Gracie was a patient at MPRI when Asher was there for his treatment. My daughter and Gracies mom became friends and spent a lot of time together during their stay. I wrote about Gracie last week. Her tumor is growing again. Her mom wrote on their newest update that they will not do Chemo again. They will discuss Hospice care with the doctors on their next appointment and talk about what they will be facing in the coming months.

This is hard. My heart breaks for the family. We are three weeks away from Ashers next MRI and I am now having huge scanxiety. Updates like Gracies are a constant reminder to us how quickly one scan can turn our world upside down again. I'm scared. I try hard to stay positive but some days I sit here wondering what would we do if we got the same news? What then? Honestly, i am not sure I could survive, not sure i would want to survive. The strength of these families amaze me. I also get angry, very very angry. Why does this keep happening? Children suffering and dying from a disease that doctors still don't know how to cure a lot of times. They do what they think is best, but the research just isn't there. It's always about money. How can we put a price tag on these kids? or any person for that matter? How can hospitals deny treatment because they don't accept a certain insurance?

On top of that you hear people judging these parents. Why have you not tried this or that? Why are you doing this treatment instead of that treatment? Why are you not doing anything? Parents do what they think is best for their kids. This is not the time to judge them, it's time to support them in their decisions. I remember when we discussed Ashers treatment with his doctor before he even had surgery, before we knew what type of tumor we were dealing with, benign, malignant etc. His doctor told us: When the time comes to make decisions, and we know that time will come at some point, we will sit together as a group and decide the next step. Once we decide how to proceed we will not look back and wonder what if....because in our hearts we know we've made that decision in Ashers best interest.

So today i'm sending out a request to say a prayer for Gracie and her family, to find peace with the decisions they are about to make, for Gracie not to endure too much suffering, she's been thru enough and for her brothers to be able to let go when the time comes. If you would like to show them your support please visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/graceburlage and write in the guestbook. Thank you all.

Announcing the winner of the Fiber One Yogurt Giveaway

2011-01-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to comment #

Raven in a blue room!! Congratulations!

Don't forget we have another Yoplait giveaway right HERE

Thanks to everyone that has entered, good luck on the next giveaway!

Pretty mind boggling-Update about my friends son

2011-01-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

My friend finally called me during my lunch hour today and we had a nice long chat. Just hearing her voice made me tear up. We talked about her son and Asher and how strange it was that we were dealing with the same things without knowing. There are a lot of similarities and some differences.
Her son had a Ewing's Sarcoma. In the brain. Only child in Europe known to have had this type of tumor in the brain.
Asher is the only case known to our doctors and their colleagues in the States to have an extraskeletal myxcoid chondrosarcoma in the brain.
Her son underwent surgery, 12 months of chemo and 2 months of proton radiation.
Asher underwent surgery, no chemo (his type of tumor does not respond well to chemo) and 2 months of radiation.
Besides the different tumor types..everything else seemed to be the same. Schedule of MRIs, same medicine they took, hormone tests etc. Just really eerie.
She did tell me that she was wrong in the letter..Her son was diagnosed in 2008 and did the chemo and then in 2009 did the proton radiation. There is only one Proton center in Germany, but it's not equipped to handle pediatric patients. They were discussing the option to fly to the States for his treatments when a spot opened up in the Proton center in Switzerland and they were lucky to get in.
Her son has had no physical side effects. He has some permanent hair loss from the radiation. Asher had temporary hairloss of the area where the beams entered his head, it's all grown back now..but has the physical side effects with his right side of the body not functioning 100%.
Her sons doctors consulted with doctors in the States to find out what the plan of treatment would be. I sent her a list of doctors that have been involved in Ashers care and we are curious to see if they were part of the consulting team that helped her sons doctor. Her son is 12 years old and will have his next doc visit and checkup next week so she will take my list with her and talk to her sons doctor.
This still blows my mind. It's really eerie talking to someone you've known ALL your life who understands what you've been thru. Something that most people thankfully never have to deal with. Just eerie.