June update, he's growing up so fast

So the other day i was told by a friend of mine from work that it's been way too long since i've posted anything on Ashers blog. She's been following this site for a while and it's pretty sad that i need to be reminded to post on here. So this is for you Diane : ) Love you girl


We've been busy around here, yeah i know you've heard that before. When Asher comes over once a week and spends the night with us we are constantly running around doing whatever he likes to do.
One of his favorite things to do around here is to help his papa. He does love to help me too but nothing beats helping papa and doing real boy stuff..
Like digging out this tree stump

and moving tree roots 

and throwing them in the fire pit

another thing he loves to do is drive the riding mower around like a 4 wheeler but when you've been running around all day without a nap sometimes the end result is this..

sound asleep at the wheel

I set up his little pool one day and when i started putting water in it he jumped in so i couldn't get more water since i wouldn't leave him in there unsupervised no matter how small the amount of water is

he loved it anyways

It didn't take long for us to realize it's time to put up the bigger pool and Asher was back to what he loves most. Swimming. He wakes up and the first thing he will say is " i wanna swim"

at 5:45 am

i'm not sure what time we finally let him in the pool but i know i heard him say "i wanna swim" probably a hundred times from the time he woke up.

conversation with Asher

Asher: i wanna swim

Me: we have to wait for the sun to be out

Asher: i wanna swim, sun is not on

me: that's right the sun is not on, we have to wait

Asher: i wanna swim pweeeeeeeeeeease

sigh

over and over

so we let him in the pool for a little bit realizing we had rain coming our way

 once it started thundering we told him it was almost time to get out

Conversation with Asher

Me: you are fixin to be done, it's gonna rain soon
Asher: i wanna swim
Hubby: Asher do you hear the thunder?
Asher: i wanna swim
Hubby: well it's gonna rain any minute, it's time to get out
Asher: papa no rain it's fine

We get him out of the pool and it wasn't 5 minutes later and it came pouring down

We went inside and Asher went to every window in the house, closed the blinds and said

"see no rain"

within a few minutes of watching tv we saw him like this

After his nap the first thing he said...you guessed it..i wanna swim

and he did for a little bit longer

till it was time to go home.

This lil boy spent hours in the pool last year, I don't think anything changed since then lol

A day i will never forget

For over a week we heard about possible severe thunderstorms with chance of tornados for this week. We are Okies, and if you haven't lived here for a while you wouldn't understand that we pretty much don't believe the weather reports 100%. We've had warnings of blizzards that never came, when rain is in the forcast most of us do believe there will be rain..just not the day that they say there will be. Weather here in Oklahoma is unpredictable. Most people joke "if you don't like the weather in oklahoma, stick around 5 minutes, it will change" We make fun of the weathermen, their lack of being right lots of time, sometimes the talk of a possible conspiracy with Wal-mart comes up..you know, make people think a storm is coming to drive up sales, jokingly of course. There is one thing these local meteorologists do know...that's tornadoes.

I heard the forcast for this week, last week. I did what every mother does, i warned my children, just in case they are right this time. Texts were sent..supposed to be bad weather, keep an eye on the weather..

May 19th, a tornado goes thru Edmond. My youngest daughter lives in Edmond. I'm texting like a wild woman...it's heading your way, get in a shelter. She finally texted me back that she was at a friends house and was fine..thank god.
Then we hear on the news that the next day will be about the same as the 19th. Thunderstorms with the possibility of tornadoes...more texts go out to my kids, keep an eye on the weather, be safe.

We as okies, or better said me as a german living in oklahoma working on being an okie....we know the chance is there, specially in may. I've lived here almost 20 years and have never seen a tornado yet.  The weather is unstable, we keep living our normal lives and take cover when a tornado develops or comes near us. Most of us hear warnings and stand outside watching the clouds and wait till the last minute to get in the shelter, warnings in our county don't mean much, it could be miles away. When i'm outside watching the weather i'm texting my kids to take cover, it's part of being a mother and being an okie.  And then comes the day when all hell breaks loose and it reminds you that mother nature is in control and there is nothing you can do about it.

May 20th started out just as any other day..I went to work, my daughters went to work, Asher went to daycare. Close to 2pm my daughter calls me and said that daycare called and asked her to pick Asher up. They were closing daycare because of the weather. Soon afterwards a lady at work tells me that she heard there might be a rotation at the fairgrounds...just a few miles from my work. I do have to mention that i work in the tallest building in the state of oklahoma. A glass building from top to bottom.  Within a few minutes we heard the sirens go off, our floor wardens told everyone to get into our "safe area" which is the service elevator lobby, most interior place of the tower with no windows. As i stood in that area with about 30 or so other people, everyone started pulling out their phones to check the news/weather. Well all the ones with AT&T coverage. I have sprint and barely get signal at work. As I was watching the live stream on the phone from my co workers , i kept hearing them say..tornado on the ground in newcastle...heading east. I look on their phone, ok ... I start sending out texts to my daughter.
Text to my daughter May 20th 3:02pm
"We are in stairway, sirens going off. What's going on in Moore? Please be safe"
No reply
I look at the screen on a coworkers phone again and in just a couple of minutes this tornado had grown immensly.
Text to my daughter May 20th 3:05pm
"Big tornado heading to moore"
No reply
I glance at the live stream again and at this time this small tornado had grown into a monster, it's huge...estimated at 1-2 miles wide, heading straight into Moore.
Text to my daughter May 20th 3:05pm
"Get in a shelter!"
No reply

At that moment all i wanted to do was head that way and be there with them. Moore is about 15 minutes away, knowing nobody would let me leave at that time couldn't have kept me from leaving, but i also knew i wouldn't get there in time. Even if i tried. I kept thinking, Asher has been winning his fight against cancer, could he have gone thru all that and loose against a tornado? this can't be happening... So i sat there and watched this monster tornado rip apart house after house and prayed my daughter, her boyfriend and Asher would be ok.
At about 3:30 they let us go back to our work areas. I immediately got on the local news website and watched the live stream at my desk, the destruction...such unbelievable destruction.
And still no answer from my daughter.
3:53pm
Text from my daughter "we are okay, just got out of the shelter next door"

51 minutes of not knowing if i would see either one again. 2 days later i still can't shake that fear i felt that day. It was the most awful miserable time since...well Ashers diagnosis. Many families weren't that lucky and my heart breaks for them. I can not even imagine what the parents went thru that lost their children. Since then all i've been wanting to do is to hold that lil grandson of mine, feel him, smell him and just be with him. Hoping to get him tomorrow and/or friday and gonna enjoy him even more than ever.
Cancer survivor, F5 tornado survivor...can we please stop now? This grandma can't take much more.

Please pray for all the families. I saw first hand today what this tornado did. I went and sifted thru the rubble of a coworkers house to find whatever was salvagable. One truck load. Her whole life and her daughters life all in the bed of one pick up. Unbelievable.

Happy Mother's Day

I became a mother when i was 19. I remember those times well. We were a young family, struggling to survive and trying to raise one daughter and then a second one.

I always wished my daughters would have it easier. 

My #1 rule was "don't make me a grandma till i'm at least 40"

I was 39 when Asher was born. Yeah my kids listen to me...NOT.

My oldest daughter Courtney became a mother at 19, just like i was, and i was given the new title of grandma.

November 3rd, 2008

I prayed that i raised my daughter right, to be a good mom to the most beautiful little boy, that life will be easier for them.

It wasn't.

11 months later Asher was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.

I thought raising two daughters, as young as i was, was hard? THIS was nothing compared to anything I ever had to deal with and i wondered how she would handle it. Could she handle it?

As devastating as it was for us, i can only imagine how painful this ordeal was for my daughter.

As i watched her cry i also saw my little girl grow up. With each tear i saw her get stronger. I saw determination in her eyes to fight for her sons life. There were heartbreaks, loosing her granny and so much more but she kept on fighting thru it all. Her son was her #1 priority, still is and always will be. 20 years old she had to watch her son put under anesthesia, 5 days a week, for 7 weeks. Each and every day. She was there holding him while he would drift off to sleep so they could start his radiation. Alone, hundreds of miles away from home. During that time I realized more than ever we've raised her right.

Courtney, the fight isn't over, and here you are still fighting, i can not put into words how proud i am of you. Proud to be your mother, proud of the person you are, honest, caring, responsible and the mommy you have become. I know being a mother isn't easy, being you is even harder. Asher is so blessed to have you as his mommy.  

I love you both so much. I hope you have the best Mothers day ever. You fought for it, you earned it.

Love you

Mom

Some pictures...

Wow another month has gone by since my last post and again i haven't even noticed. We have been really busy, Ashers great grandpa was in ICU for a bit but is now back at the nursing home. We went down to see him in the hospital in Texas, without Asher. They would not have let him in anyways and spending 2-3 hours one way in the car is not Ashers idea of fun, i'm sure. Lots of other things been going on, things that have nothing to do with Asher so not worthwhile sharing here, but things that would explain why i haven't been blogging much.

Asher is doing well. His behavior seems to be getting better , specially at school. His talking is steadily improving. Still has a long way to go but he's really getting better. So much better actually that we had this conversation the other day...

Me: Whats your name?
Asher: Ayer
Me: What's my name?
Asher: Omi

Brought a big smile to my face : ) This weekend i heard a lot of "Look Omi" or "Watch this Omi" and everytime i hear it i can't help but smile. He just wasn't fond of calling me grandma i guess lol

We've tried spending lots of time outside, but this Oklahoma weather is just not cooperating with us. Seems like everytime he is here it's cool or just plain freezing cold. I'm cold natured anyways and Asher doesn't seem to care if i am cold he still wants out. So outside we go, even if its just for a little bit. We are craving warmer weather.

Here are some photos..

Pillow fight and wrestling with Papa, he loves it. They do this everytime he is here, several times. Asher will bring me a pillow, point to my husband and say: "Hit papa" then he runs up to him, throws himself on him and yells "i got papa" lol

riding the lawn mower with papa (without the blades being engaged)

He's actually doing a great job steering it by himself, even though he can only use his left hand

Love this pic

bundled up and kicking the ball

He's an active lil guy

Have a great week!

A day late and a dollar short

Make that a week later and a dollar short. I'm a week behind posting about Easter, oh well. Life has been a a little hectic around here, and honestly i just haven't been in the mood to blog. Sorry.

We got Asher the thursday before easter and kept him till saturday. We decided to do our own easter egg hunt here this year on Saturday so it would free them up to do whatever they wanted on sunday and wouldn't have us miss him hunting eggs.

We had a pretty good weekend, the weather was nice and Asher was in a pretty good mood for the most part.

Soaking up some sun

Love this picture

and this one

So my daughters came over Saturday for the egg hunt with their boyfriends. We ate, hunted eggs and just enjoyed a nice warm day outside.

Asher and his mommy...getting ready to hunt eggs

somebody found a golden egg! Considering he was the only one here hunting 

eggs his odds were pretty good : )

Found another one..

He had a blast running thru the woods and finding them all.

When all was set and done it was picture time

goofy ones with aunt crystal and her boyfriend

And a happy family picture : )

That wrapped up our Easter.

One more pic from this weekend..

Could kiss those cheeks all day long.

Nice weather + Asher = Super weekend

I'm sure it will shock everyone if i told you when Asher comes to our house everything, and i mean EVERYTHING revolves around him. It's our time with him and we cherish each moment. Needless to say he is getting a lil spoiled by all of the attention, but oh well that's what grandparents are there for. Right?!

Instead of hunting shows and watching the Thunder play the only thing on our TV for 24 hours is Mickey Mouse, Curious George, Nick Jr or some movie such as ToyStory or Cars..or..well you get the hint.
Even though he has really gotte into watching TV there is one thing he loves to do at our house more than anything. Being outside.

We had some really beautiful weather friday and saturday and as soon as we got Asher and made it home we changed his clothes and shoes and went outside.
Had to help Papa in the garden

It's serious business helping (shovel is optional)

Since we usually don't get home till around 6 we didn't have a lot of time left to be outside so we went in and watched Lorax. 

He had a hard time going to sleep, and woke up at 4 and 6, finally got up at 7:30. I think by 9 am we were back outside. That boy doesn't waste a minute around here.

Doing what he loves the most. He started getting dirtier and dirtier and smiling bigger and bigger. I said: "Asher show me your face" and this is the look i got.

Silly boy

Then he wanted to play in his sandbox, he keeps us busy i tell ya.

After a while it got so warm we had to change him into tshirt and shorts. He kept busy kicking his new soccer ball and running around some more till it was time to take a break. 

Cookies

and here is a close up of his face lol

I swear i run around here with a washcloth cleaning him up constantly, it's a loosing battle. 5 minutes later he looks like this. Over and over. As much as i love seeing him being able to just play and getting dirty I do have my limits. THAT was my limit. Off in the tub he went lol

SEE! 

All clean and smelling good. 

I was also hoping it would make him a lil tired. By now i was starting to wear out. Apparently he wasn't, he never did take a nap which is highly unusual for him. Instead after an hour he wanted back outside.

This is how he kept himself occupied before we had to take him back home.

Trike wash

When it was time to get ready to take him back I said "Asher we gotta meet mommy soon ok?"

He said "no" ran into the house and locked me out. It was pretty funny especially since my husband was inside so i wasn't worried and we always have keys handy when Asher is here. Just in case.

The funny part stopped when he had to get in the car seat and he was mad. I always hate this part, he hates to go when he's had a great weekend here.

And he finds way to pay me back too...Conversation when we were rolling out of the driveway..

Me: Bye dogs

Asher: Bye dogs , bye dirt, bye Papas truck, bye soccer ball

Me: Bye grandmas house

Asher: bye house, BYE HOUUUUUSEEEE

*sigh*

one day..one day maybe

On another note:

I would like to ask you all for a favor. Remember me telling you all about Ashers oncologist and how much we love her? Well she is a true example of a doctor that does whatever she can to help her patients and really cares about every child effected by cancer. So much so that she is shaving her head this year for the St. Baldrick's foundation to help fund childhood cancer research. At our last visit with her a couple of weeks ago i told her i was looking forward to seeing her bald head, we are actually hoping to go see her when this happens on March 24th. And i will post pictures if we make it!! A little incentive here : )

Please donate to make this happen, every dollar helps and it's for a great cause. 

Here is the link to donate http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/jordansmommy/ 

and this is her story:

Jordan was just 3 in 2004 when his mother noted his left eye was turning in. His doctor noticed a funny white color in his pupil and thought it might be a cataract. Unfortunately, it was a cancer called retinoblastoma growing in the back of his eye. It was too big to save the eye, so he had surgery to remove it and place a prosthesis. He received six months of chemotherapy to prevent it from spreading to his brain. During that time, his family became unable to take care of him and Jordan was folded into a family of boys. René had met him at the clinic, where she is one of the doctors, and brought him home to live with her, her husband Ryan, and two boys Cooper (2 years older) and Carter (2 years younger). Jordan fit right into the mix right away! In 2007 he was officially adopted into the family. He has been off treatment now for over 8 years and is 12 years old. He spends his days playing outside with friends. He is a terrific athlete despite having only one eye and his true love is playing soccer! 

See why we love her? So please donate to help her reach her goal, we would really appreciate it!

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/jordansmommy/ remember every dollar counts, no donation is too small!

Dirty, happy and tired

We had a really good time with Asher this weekend. He was behaving, he slept well, all together it was just a lot of fun. We are calm again after a clear MRI scan and life is good.

We live out of the city limits and Asher has always enjoyed being able to roam around our yard, go "in the woods" as he calls it and just be a little boy without having to watch for cars and whatever else. He used to be so concerned about dirt on his hands or his clothes. Well that's sure starting to fade away. He is turning into a little country boy and we just love it.

We let him outside for a couple of hours saturday morning before it started to rain and he had a blast. My husband was getting some dirt/leaves to put in our garden to till later and Asher loved helping him. 

Even though his papa had more dirt in his wheelbarrow than Asher i'm sure those buckets full of dirt will make the difference in our garden this year : )

Dumping dirt

Gotta spread out the dirt just right

Loves being a big helper

He lasted about 30 seconds in the wheelbarrow then he wanted out

everytime after he dumped his bucket he would say "i need more dirt"

and fill his bucket up again

and after 2 hours of helping he looked like this

one happy dirty and tired little boy. He ate lunch and took a 2 1/2 hour nap.

I love weekends like this, hoping for warmer weather soon so he can spend more time outside.

I see more "dirty asher" pictures in the future : )